Polyamory.com Forum

Polyamory.com Forum (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/index.php)
-   General Poly Discussions (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=2)
-   -   Basic Quad?? (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2456)

idealist 04-06-2010 12:13 AM

Basic Quad??
 
1 Attachment(s)
Would you call this a basic quad? see attached diagram. It's when there are two males and two females. The males have been sexual with the females, but the females haven't been sexual with one another and neither have the males been sexual with one another. It just seems like your basic heterosexual quad to me....but just wondering.

On the diagram, the green means "yes" and the red means "no" as far as direct sexual contact.

vandalin 04-06-2010 02:59 AM

Sounds about right for a hetero quad. Nice diagram too. :)

MonoVCPHG 04-06-2010 03:57 AM

Sounds like wife swapping isn't it? Now I'm curious....what is a true quad?.

redpepper 04-06-2010 06:34 AM

yes, what is a true quad... ? I never thought about it before. I assumed it was four people that may or may be coupled in two primary couplings and then are intimately involved with each of the other couple. But then if they are straight, how does that work?

I will be researching quads now... come to think of it I know of quads where the women are involved also, but not the men with each other, they are only involved with the women.

I suppose it doesn't really matter, what matters is that their are four and that there is love and compassion between the members to make the definition of "quad"

korindino 04-06-2010 07:41 AM

I second Redpepper.

But, how often would this happen, as a true polyamorous quad? It just seems like there's such a prominent correlation between poly and bisexuality--I don't think I've ever been in a room with four polys where at least one wasn't bi. I'm curious if anyone here has been in the kind of relationship OP diagrammed.

venusaquarius 04-06-2010 09:57 AM

Oh to be a minority within a minority within a minority...my current relationships have devolved from a true quad, formed by two couples who shared mates. We are two lesbian couples (substitute butch-femme for guy-girl and you've got it). My two loves (my primary partner and my OSO) are/were also involved with a woman with whom I was not involved. She and I shared our loves, and called each other punaluas (lovers of our lover). The other original couple (my OSO and my punalua) have since broken up as lovers but remain friends and financial partners. So our quad is now more like a box with a dotted line, or two Vs. Further complicating this is the very recent/pending break-up of my primary and her OSO, my punalua. So we may be down to a broken V. Are we still poly? I may be the only one left in my quad who so identifies. But we were great while we lasted (almost 5 years...)

idealist 04-07-2010 01:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG (Post 25643)
Sounds like wife swapping isn't it? Now I'm curious....what is a true quad?.

Well, it can't be wife swapping because nobody is married. Guy 1 and Girl 1 consider each other the "primary" and Girl 2 his the secondary for Guy 1. But Girl 2 and Guy 2 do not consider themselves to be primarys and they have other lovers.

I know....I'm not sure what a true quad is.....and I know it doesn't matter. These thoughts come to my head at night when I'm going to sleep.....

idealist 04-07-2010 01:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by korindino (Post 25659)
I second Redpepper.

But, how often would this happen, as a true polyamorous quad? It just seems like there's such a prominent correlation between poly and bisexuality--I don't think I've ever been in a room with four polys where at least one wasn't bi. I'm curious if anyone here has been in the kind of relationship OP diagrammed.

I am in this "quad" and I consider myself "bi". One guy says he's "bi-curious" and the other guy and girl consider themselves to be heterosexual.

idealist 04-07-2010 01:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by venusaquarius (Post 25661)
So our quad is now more like a box with a dotted line, or two Vs. Further complicating this is the very recent/pending break-up of my primary and her OSO, my punalua. So we may be down to a broken V. Are we still poly? I may be the only one left in my quad who so identifies. But we were great while we lasted (almost 5 years...)

I absolutely love these descriptions...."box with dotted line" "two vs" etc.
I like to visualize diagrams.
The thing I love about poly is that there are so many possibilities !!!

ourquad 04-07-2010 01:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by korindino (Post 25659)
I second Redpepper.
I'm curious if anyone here has been in the kind of relationship OP diagrammed.

This pretty much describes us at this point. Arwen is bisexual and she and I have been intimate though I do not consider myself bisexual (I have feelings about what that means). The guys are strictly hetero though there have been MFM threesomes. But mostly these days we are as your diagram described.


All times are GMT. The time now is 07:05 PM.