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-   -   Facebook "partner" option (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=24547)

hellokitty 06-09-2012 01:32 AM

Facebook "partner" option
 
Hey,

This is kind of a silly topic but one I'm sure many of you have thought of! Any way, I've been with my bf for 5+ yrs so he has always been on my facebook profile as "in a relationship with ___." I've been w my gf for a yr & a half and she feels understandably as if she might seem less important to our friends (online)... But there's never really been much to do about it because fb is not quite so poly oriented. I was messing around on there today and noticed in the "friends and family" section one of the options to add someone as (under grandmother, aunt, cousin, etc..) is Partner. I'm wondering if it's possible to add her to that little section as partner and keep my bf where he is. I'm anxious to try it because I don't want something awkward to happen like it tell fb him and I broke up haha.

Anyone willing to be a guinea pig for curiosity's sake???

Thanks!

feelyunicorn 06-09-2012 02:19 AM

My FB option stays single regardless. I`ve never been pressured, but I`ve been through a lot of people since I joined Face and never have I touched the relationship option. Don`t want to be in anyone`s Facebook either, that`d be a huge turn off and red flag to me.

The interwebz (along with everybody else) can butt off my relationships, as far as I`m concerned. In the words of the lead vocalist for The Germs, "What we do is secret! Secret!"

km34 06-09-2012 02:50 AM

Do most people on your FB know you're poly? I would assume so since you want to add her as a partner, but just checking....

Why not get rid of the relationship status altogether and list both of them as partners in the friends/family section? This would make them completely equal on the Facebook playing field.

I kind of wish I had chosen to keep my relationship status blank (it doesn't show up on your profile if you don't choose one of the preset options), but when I was 18, it was a big deal for me to list it as engaged, and then all my family was all excited when I got to change it to married and change my last name (which happened MONTHS before I actually dealt with the legal process lol). I've listed multiple partners on fetlife before, but sometimes I kind of wish I didn't have that preferential treatment on a website I use everyday (FB). Now, though, I couldn't change that without my entire extended family noticing and wondering and since I live thousands of miles away it would come down to my parents having to deal with it, and that's just not fair. If/when everyone knows that I have relationships with other people, I probably will change it since you can choose Partner in the other section. :D

Phy 06-09-2012 03:05 AM

I don't use facebook much, but I listed Sward as married with and added Lin as partner after I told my family. I decided to hide all my friends and relationship status after the reaction of my mother and leave this information be. As I said, I don't use facebook that often therefore no one realized the change of Lin's status stated in the small sentence "Phy added Lin as partner." I deleted it the next day for the public eye, but I personally need things to be in order. Therefore I always see 'married with' and partner when I look at my profile. That's enough for me :)

CielDuMatin 06-09-2012 10:01 PM

I just don't put my relationship status on Facebook. Those that know don't need to see it on a social networking site, those that don't know don't need to know.

feelyunicorn 06-10-2012 12:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CielDuMatin (Post 139066)
I just don't put my relationship status on Facebook. Those that know don't need to see it on a social networking site, those that don't know don't need to know.

Amen! God bless!

LovingRadiance 06-10-2012 04:20 AM

I listed a "special" list as my Loves and put my boyfriend and husband in that group. It's visible to everyone on my facebook and makes it clear who I am identifying as my partners.

lovefromgirl 06-10-2012 05:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CielDuMatin (Post 139066)
I just don't put my relationship status on Facebook. Those that know don't need to see it on a social networking site, those that don't know don't need to know.

Serendipitously (and, if you know us, inevitably), we agree on this one. I don't even bother with "In an Open Relationship" anymore. That's TMI unless I feel like telling. There's a Darling whose name is never revealed, and my friends who do know who he is respect our desire for privacy. Just the way I like it!

RfromRMC 06-10-2012 09:16 PM

I think this is a fair question. I myself have no family or coworkers on FB friend list, just friends who would honestly care and want to share in my life.

As for an answer to the original poster, I really don't know. I don't have titles or categories---just a lump sum of friends. My relationship status simply says "In an open relationship" but I left out the with whom part. (But thanks to various posts & photos on my wall, everyone should know who it is.) It works for my purposes.

Piroska 06-14-2012 08:22 PM

I have Guy listed as "in an open relationship with" on my facebook (the one that my fetish/modeling people see, anyway), but only since he started getting active on facebook and wanted people to know who he was in relation to me. When Juliette opened a facebook account (the other day) I listed her as "Partner-Female" in the Family and Friends section. It's not equal treatment on the facebook page (in a relationship with is much more prominent than partners are), and I was somewhat annoyed with that, but to answer the original question, yes, it works. (Now I have not tried adding multiple people as "partners", so I don't know how well that would work.)


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