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-   -   Unicorn Poly Couple (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=24518)

PolyMister 06-08-2012 05:03 AM

Unicorn Poly Couple
 
Hey, my name is Chris. I'm originally from Newfoundland, Canada, but I'm currently living in Grande Prairie, Alberta, Canada.

My fiancee and I are a unicorn poly couple. I am straight and she is a bi-sexual who prefers females over males.

I first realized that I was polyamorous when I first found out that my girlfriend (now fiancee) actually preferred women to men, and I told her that I didn't mind if she had a girlfriend besides me.

I didn't know what Polyamory was at the time, and I was shocked to know that I would be okay with her seeing a girl while she was with me. After looking up a definition for the type of relationship I had thought of, it was then that I discovered what polyamory was, and even more relieving, that there were more people out there like me.

I believe that my only reason for being shocked with myself in the first place was because of society's misunderstanding of what I had suggested. Where many people would call it 'cheating', I saw it as a sensible and perfectly okay thing to do.

---------------------------------

Now that time has passed, and I am living in Alberta, with my fiancee still living home in Newfoundland until December when she will come up here with me. We have decided that it's time for us to start actively seeking this female partner. But our values have changed since then. It's no longer us just looking for a partner for her, we're now looking for someone who would be willing to be with both of us.

CielDuMatin 06-08-2012 12:00 PM

Welcome to the forum, Chris.

As you know the terminology, you almost definitely know that the odds are definitely slim for you to find what you seek (they would have been a lot easier if it was just a relationship for one of you). That doesn't make it wrong in any way, of cours,e just difficult.

I wish you luck on your hunt.

PolyMister 06-08-2012 01:06 PM

Oh I am definitely aware of the frustrating odds that I have ahead of me. They don't call them unicorns for nothing I guess.

We have one girl in mind to be honest. A long-time friend of my fiancee's who already does like both of us, but is unwilling to do it because her family are strict, very religious Pentecostal and she is afraid of what they would say to her having that sort of a relationship.

kdt26417 06-08-2012 08:42 PM

Greetings PolyMister,
Welcome to our forum.

An important disinction we make between "cheating" and "polyamorous relationship," is that in cheating, one of the persons involved is not fully informed about the situation, or is informed, but doesn't want it to be that way. So, if you are making sure to keep all involved parties informed, and, holding out for their consent, you're definitely on the "poly" side of the equation.

Don't be discouraged, though; there's people who are okay with poly, it just takes some more time to find them.

Re: religious conditioning ... that weighs heavily on some people, so you may have to be patient with your long-time friend. It's rather sad that polyamory isn't very widely accepted right now.

Anyway, I'm glad you've joined us here.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.

PolyMister 06-09-2012 12:37 AM

Thanks for the warm welcome.

Yes, it is very upsetting that polyamory isn't more accepted within society. I am actually writing a novel right now that deals with it, called "Trinity".

It's about a young couple who go through the stress of a miscarriage, and separate for a while. While they are split up, the female in the relationship starts seeing and eventually falls in love with a girl named Trinity. Eventually the couple gets back together and includes Trinity in the relationship as an equal, and eventually, Trinity and the male become lovers as well.

The people in Trinity's life aren't accepting of the life style, least of all her father and it upsets her, and after months of abuse from her peers for the choice, she ends up committing suicide.

I'm hoping it will draw attention to those of us who are polyamorous and help people better see the abuse that many of us have taken from friends and family, even complete strangers just because of the fact that we are polyamorous.

I'm not saying we all receive the same abuse by any means, but there will always be those of us who have people in our lives who do not accept it.

kdt26417 06-09-2012 09:12 PM

And there'll always be poly units (such as mine/me) that have to "live in the closet" due to the fear of the fallout "coming out" would create.

Sounds like a good book you're writing.


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