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-   -   NRE and new beginnings (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=24452)

Gentlenest 06-06-2012 11:03 PM

NRE and new beginnings
 
Hi all!

For the first time, I have started a new relationship that involved me explaining to him how polyamory works! I'm sure my explanation was far from perfect, but he is just getting out of a failed marriage, and conflicted about another girl he is interested in, and was worried I would be angry (this was our first date :)).

And I got to say "Err...no, I'm polyamorous. I don't mind at all!" Which made him all confused, so I had to explain to him a bit about how it works, and how open communication is KEY. He wants to give it a try. (which is very cool, because otherwise I couldn't date him, even though I'm single right now. I just don't want to go back there.)

So, I'm feeling really pumped and happy now, so I just thought I would share!

JaneQSmythe 06-07-2012 02:03 AM

Woo-hoo! Sounds like this was a perfect set-up for the poly discussion - he was conflicted, you said "you know you don't have to be?", out in the open on the first date. Don't know the probability that his other interest will feel the same way :confused:...but you two sound off to a good start.

Derbylicious 06-07-2012 04:32 AM

Woo Hoo on a sucessful date :D

nycindie 06-07-2012 06:32 AM

I actually prefer dating guys like that, who don't want exclusivity but have never heard of polyamory. I don't usually even use the "p word" with them. I just talk about my desire not to be exclusive. Sometimes the guys I meet who are experienced polys are wrapped up to much in jargon and protocol, and I like creating new dynamics.

Gentlenest 06-08-2012 03:29 AM

WooHoo :)
 
3rd date today and still going strong. :)

CielDuMatin 06-08-2012 12:09 PM

I have had some good times, but a ton of drama with folks who hadn't heard of poly. They all ended up deciding that poly wasn't for them and they wanted monogamy and, since it couldn't be with me, they either ended the relationship or cheated on me with the person they thought they wanted to be with (it has happened twice now). My most successful to-date (still going strong!) knew all about poly and wasn't in any doubt.

But those are just my experiences - sounds like you are potentially on to a great thing!

Gentlenest 06-10-2012 02:31 AM

Shot down.
 
...and then he broke up with me.

So much for that great mood.

hyperskeptic 06-10-2012 04:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gentlenest (Post 139076)
...and then he broke up with me.

So much for that great mood.

I'm sorry to hear this. It's a hard thing, after you put yourself out on a limb.

Still, I have to wonder, maybe this had a lot to do with it:

Quote:

. . . he is just getting out of a failed marriage, and conflicted about another girl he is interested in . . .
In other words, maybe it's not about you, really, or even about poly. Maybe it's just about the confusion he's bound to be living through.


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