Hopeful for the Future
Apparently I'm at that stage of a new relationship where I wonder where this is going and I start daydreaming. I've always been a very typical girl at this stage of things, once I've accepted that Boy and I really like each other, I'm confident that we'll have some sort of future together, and I start daydreaming about where things will go. About this time seven years ago I was deciding how my first name sounded with my husband's last, even down to scrawling it on my notebook. I'm a giant cliché.
But this time there's no map. I don't know what a future looks like in this case, and now I'm kind of trying to think about possibilities for I want me and my husband, and my boyfriend, my girlfriend-in-law and her other boyfriend to end up. Oh, of course it's early for decisions, but I do catch myself daydreaming on different levels. Do I see a future full of regular trips to visit each other back and forth, the occasional vacation with my boyfriend? Or a duplex somewhere far away from here, with my friend and her little vee in one half, me and my husband in the other? It's fun to dream about, and I'm curious what other possibilities are out there.
So I ask you, tell me your daydreams. Or, for those of you who are deeper into this than I am, what's your life look like?
My life looks like my husband, sister, boyfriend, 18 year old daughter, 10 year old son and almost 3 year old daughter living together with my boyfriend's cat, sisters 3 cats, hubby and my 2 dogs in a house that is in need of asthetic repair but functionally fine on about 1.13 acres.
My dream is for a 20 acre piece of property with 3-5 homes built on it (opposite corners maybe?).
One large on for hubby and I to live in, each of us having our own master suite (bedroom, bathroom, sitting room), a HUGE dining area, large, roomy kitchen, 3-5 extra guest rooms.
One home designed to my sisters specifications.
One home designed to my boyfriends specifications.
One home designed to be comfortable for any/all of our 4 (one doesn't live with us currently) our children and their prospective families to use when visiting.
2-6 horses (just always wanted horses).
A "social area" outside with a pool, garden, bbq area, campfire pit, hot tub to fit 8-10 COMFORTABLY.....
I'm sure I could continue with the dream, but as to a small amount of functioning detail-I would like to be able to have my husband and/or boyfriend stay in my suite at will. I'd like my husband to feel comfortable having me in his suite and any significant other he may have there at will.
I'd also like to be able to go to bf's place and stay if that was what was desired.
My dream involves being able to spend time fluidly with Alex and Jenny, being able to hang out with either or both of them, and have us all be satisfied. And I want a primary of my own.
To be perfectly honest, though, most of my dreams right now are less to do with my relationships and more to do with myself. I dream about losing weight and being healthy, about going to grad school and finishing my degrees so I can be a teacher or professor someday. Most of all, I dream about a day when I don't work full time in retail.
Right now I am fighting with myself to give up on my dreams. I find having partially achieved what I always wanted, and then lost it, has hurt me.
My dreams seem to be ever evolving. Originally I was the a-typical unicorn hunter...more closely tied to swinging than to poly. I really just wanted the sex. Had some success and fun. I never thought it COULD be more.
Moving forward we dated a girl, feelings came in the mix and my dream piqued. This was everything I wanted and felt at peace. I could see having kids, living together in a triad and just enjoying life. Even as a V. I was never closed off to any idea as long as my primary relationships were with both my wife and gf.
Now, I am not sure, I suppose that is still my dream but I see it as an impossible dream. Dreaming of something that can't happen, so I am working towards either evolving the dream (being more fluid with my wants) or simply putting it back where dreams belong :)
Wow LR, that just sounds awesome. Great detail in there. Sounds like you almost need an unused retirement village haha
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