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-   -   First relationship.. failure (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2405)

Phantessa 03-30-2010 01:50 AM

First relationship.. failure
 
So.. I posted a little while back and my husband and I began talking about exploring polyamory. We recently decided to move forward and I had my first boyfriend and in less than two weeks.. gone. The man I was dating, well it was long distance friendship that we tried to evolve further.. well, I don't think he ever really understood polyamory and didn't care to talk about it or read about it. I think he led himself to believe I would magically leave my husband to be with him, and that I was confused. He kept trying to ignore it. Things got more stressful than was worth it so we both ended it. But, it still hurts and hasn't quite fully hit me. Because he's most likely going to just disappear. We haven't told a lot of people in our lives, because we're still working the kinks out for us. My husband has been incredible throughout this and surprisingly more accepting of me dating. Anyway, just needed to vent somewhere safe for a minute.. It really sucks to lose him so soon, but it seemed inevitable.:(

LovingRadiance 03-30-2010 01:58 AM

Well yes-of course it sucks. Loss is loss, and this was a loss. :(

But-as in all of life-with loss (can) come learning and from learning growth and new opportunities!

Congratulations to you and your husband for going through this together. Appreciate THAT accomplishment during this loss. :)

Big Hugs!!
;)

Phantessa 03-30-2010 02:26 AM

Thanks LR. Our relationship has been strengthened and we survived the first attempt. My husband was incredible inspiring in the compassion and care he showed for me exploring a relationship. I know I will appreciate that so much more when he meets someone too. We have a greater respect and appreciation for each other. I do recognize those positives too.

NeonKaos 03-30-2010 11:59 AM

Unfortunately, many people do equate "polyamory" with "testing the waters to see if anything better is out there before deciding to leave the current relationship".

Better luck next time!


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