Polyamory.com Forum

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-   -   Hi! (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2399)

noob 03-29-2010 03:28 AM

Hi!
 
I dug right in on the "New to Polyamory Forum" asking for advice :o

But just wanted to introduce myself here as well. I'm 30 years old, married, and bi. What's brought me here, though, is really more an interest in a specific person. I'm married to my husband of almost 6 years, and we have a daughter together and plans to have another child at some point in the nearish future (although I don't really want to get pregnant again, but that's another story...)

We have no experience with poly at all. But as I said, I am interested in another specific (!) guy, and theoretically I am open to relationships with women (which would probably be mutual with DH, who is straight).

I can definitely imagine myself in some kind of triad raising kids with DH and another woman...but for now, I'm here because of a man that I met very recently, and who is very long distance from us.

So...that's us, in a nutshell. Right now I'm just trying to wrap my head around all of this, soaking it up like a sponge :D--and trying to figure out how to talk with DH about what I'm thinking.

CielDuMatin 03-30-2010 09:47 PM

Welcome to the forum!

I think there are a not insignificant number of people who come to poly because of one specific person. Whatever way you get here, you're here now - may as well enjoy it, right? ;-)

noob 03-31-2010 03:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CielDuMatin (Post 25202)
Welcome to the forum!

I think there are a not insignificant number of people who come to poly because of one specific person. Whatever way you get here, you're here now - may as well enjoy it, right? ;-)

That makes me feel better to know others come to it for that reason. It sort of feels like "fake" poly somehow :confused:

CielDuMatin 03-31-2010 12:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by noob (Post 25224)
It sort of feels like "fake" poly somehow :confused:

it's ok, I won't tell the Polyamory Certification Board if you don't. ;)

noob 03-31-2010 01:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CielDuMatin (Post 25244)
it's ok, I won't tell the Polyamory Certification Board if you don't. ;)

LOL!

Now that's a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" that I could get behind.

MonoVCPHG 03-31-2010 02:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by noob (Post 25224)
It sort of feels like "fake" poly somehow :confused:

That seems like real poly to me :)

CFstasha 03-31-2010 08:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by noob (Post 25224)
That makes me feel better to know others come to it for that reason. It sort of feels like "fake" poly somehow :confused:

I kind of felt the same way, especially after reading "The Ethical Slut", which, instead of giving me the guidance I was hoping for only confused me because this isn't a "ZOMG must have sex with lots of people" thing for me.

I feel weird using the term poly to describe our new situation because it seems to imply many partners as opposed to the "V" I'm apparently the "hinge" on (or is it a W, since my boyfriend is a part of a "V: that his girfriend's the "hinge" on…Oh the terminology!) :P

CielDuMatin 04-02-2010 04:04 PM

I have to say that I tried to read the Ethical Slut but it just wasn't doing it for me - the stuff it was talking about just wasn't "my reality", so it was of little use.

I actually found a book called "Open Marriages" by O'Neill to be really helpful. It's not really strictly about polyamory (nor swinging) but it has a ton of the groundwork of what an existing relationship needs to work on in order to make poly work.

booklady78 04-08-2010 05:01 AM

There's a Polyamory Certification Board!?!?! Dang... :P
Welcome! :)

CielDuMatin 04-08-2010 04:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by booklady78 (Post 25874)
There's a Polyamory Certification Board!?!?! Dang... :P

Shhhh it's a secret!

Just watch for the odd-looking handshakes....


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