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-   -   A comfortable step in a new direction (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=23824)

NDNIRISH 05-21-2012 01:31 AM

A comfortable step in a new direction
Hello community of amorous

I'm Dave y'all can call NDNIRISH.. I've been with my partner (s) for ten years and married eight years. She's been hinting/jokeing of us becoming a poly amorous couple for awhile now.lol I don't take to hints to well especially when in a form of a joke as u can guess. Anyway we r a very truth full/trusting couple. I've been talking/heavy petting with a girl (n) (who is non-monogamous/ fucking around if that makes sense) for about two weeks now..I feel our friend ship is not going anywhere. The timing just dosent work for us. Idk. Lack of effort on both parties I guess. S and N don't know each other but N dose know I'm married. N seems scared of our openness/trust..she grown up with cheaters and man haters so it makes sense to me that she would be scared of my "situation". I guess what I'm saying is I'm glad to be apart of an open, trusting and truthful community and not just another cheater lol.

kdt26417 05-21-2012 03:29 AM

Hello Dave,
Welcome to our forum.

It always amazes me how society overall seems to accept cheating (which isn't honest) more easily than polyamory (which is honest). It's just conditioning, I suppose, and most people have that conditioning to overcome.

Perhaps you and N could have a talk sometime and see if you can come to a mutual agreement about where you'd like your relationship to go. Set some goals even, perhaps. I assume S knows about N and is okay with it? Always double-check any assumptions, no matter how obvious something seems.

There is a lot of potential for you (and S, maybe N as well) to find a lot of happiness through polyamory. Just take it slow, and learn as much as you can along the way.

Glad you could be with us.
Kevin T.

NDNIRISH 05-21-2012 03:51 AM

Oh yeah!
Yes S dose know about N. S and I talk about everything. N seems to be keeping me a secret from her....what ever she has. Lol she tells me she has just friends and its easyer for her that way but something doesn't add up. Witch is one of the reasons y I am taking it slow with her. I am very honest about everything with my wife and my friend, it's the only way this could work..honesty the key besides I couldn't feel wright as a person if I ever lied to my wife. We've been throw so much together, I would be stupid to throw all that away over a " thing " for some girl who I can't even trust. Any way i really don't think n and us will work out.

NDNIRISH 05-21-2012 03:57 AM

Forgot to mention I've been telling n to be honest with her "friend" because one I do t want trouble to start and two if she can't be honest it will never work. Any way what's ur story? It took me my whole life to meet my wife...it might take me another life to find some one just as grate. But that's not what worrys me what worrys me is will she find just as grate?

kdt26417 05-21-2012 05:54 AM

Well true love is always a rare find, one to be treasured. Heck, my main regrets in life come from not having appreciated what I already had. So kudos to you as you seem to have your priorities well in order.


"Anyway what's your story?"
Oh, I'm just a guy who transitioned (somewhat awkwardly) from traditional monogamy into a poly-fi V. I've lived in three states so far: Utah, Michigan, and (now) New Mexico. I've been in Albuquerque since 2008. Interesting to see your location isn't all that far from my neck of the woods. :)

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