Polyamory.com Forum

Polyamory.com Forum (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/index.php)
-   Introductions (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=9)
-   -   Is it for us? (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=23747)

mialush 05-18-2012 06:54 AM

Is it for us?
 
Hello. My husband and I have been married for 13 years. We have talked about sharing him with another woman, mostly during sex. I would love for him to have a relationship (both caring and sexual) with another, and he wants to also, but we are at a standstill at making this happen.

So, I come here to learn about the polyamory lifestyle.

newpoly1stwife 05-18-2012 03:19 PM

as someone who has recently decided on this, and experiencing a bad situation at this time, I can only say research ahead of time. Set guide lines before you start any extra relationships. One guideline has to be if at any time you are uncomfortable with something they are doing they need to be respectful and stop. Do not give to much of yourself while trying to help them develop a relationship. I have found a ton of good information here and on this page http://www.cat-and-dragon.com/stef/P.../jealousy.html

Good luck

CielDuMatin 05-18-2012 04:12 PM

Hi mialush. It's heartening that you have both reached this decision. You say that you have reached a standstill - in what way? Are you struggling to meet other poly folk that you might feel a bond with, are you struggling with jealousy, are you struggling with how to do it so that everyone gets what they need?

Those are all very different issues, with different solutions and advise. If you can talk a little more about your situation, maybe the folks here can help you more...

nycindie 05-18-2012 11:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mialush (Post 136092)
Hello. My husband and I have been married for 13 years. We have talked about sharing him with another woman, mostly during sex. I would love for him to have a relationship (both caring and sexual) with another, and he wants to also, but we are at a standstill at making this happen.

So, I come here to learn about the polyamory lifestyle.

Are you saying that you are at a standstill because he wants it to be just sexual and you want to develop relationships?

Or is it just that he hasn't met anyone yet, so things are at a standstill?

kdt26417 05-19-2012 07:55 PM

Hi mialush,

Just wanted to say welcome to our forum. I think if you look around a little on our various threads you will get an idea of what to expect, as well as opportunity to air any thoughts, questions, or concerns you may have.

Slightly off-topic: newpoly1stwife, I love that link you provided! I've put it in my archives (hope that's okay).

Anyway, @ mialush, I hope you find the info/support you need here. It's a great resource.

Respects/regards,
Kevin T.

mialush 05-26-2012 05:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nycindie (Post 136153)
Are you saying that you are at a standstill because he wants it to be just sexual and you want to develop relationships?

Or is it just that he hasn't met anyone yet, so things are at a standstill?

He hasn't met anyone yet. How would he begin to introduce the subject?

kdt26417 05-26-2012 07:37 PM

I usually think the safest way to go is to get to know someone just as a friend. You talk about polyamory when it comes up in a conversation, and the other person isn't under pressure to pursue poly themselves, as they're just a friend. If it develops into something more than friendship later, the other person kind of already knows what they're getting into.


All times are GMT. The time now is 04:31 PM.