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-   -   A proper hello! (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=23580)

Tea4three 05-09-2012 09:11 PM

A proper hello!
I thought I had better say a proper hello.

After a rocky start, with some great support from people here, I am just embarking on my first poly relationship (relationships?)

I always thought I was a monogamous type person. I'm bisexual but always had one gender of partner or the other, I didn't think it was possible for me to be interested in more than one gender at a time.

I've been married for a couple of years, and I have a little boy. My husband always said he was happy for me to see women, but I never really felt inclined to. The third in our relationship is a woman who was a friend for about 10 years, until very recently when both my husband and I began (separate) relationships with her.

It's been an interesting learning curve. I've realised that I can be attracted to both genders at once, so to speak, and that I can be in love with 2 people at the same time, without compromising either (I actually think both relationships benefit from the other). It's not all been roses, it's an odd adjustment to make, mostly trying to weed out the "societal norms" that are rooted in my brain trying to tell me that the things that are making me happy are the wrong things to do.

Trying to figure out the boundaries have been interesting, particularly in terms of the equality, or otherwise between the 3 relationships in our triad. I've had to learn to tone down my competitiveness and accept that my husband does see me as his primary relationship, and more importantly, isn't priming her as my replacement. Realising it's OK that the two of them are always either annoyed/fighting with each other, or flirting, and that is just how they are, while I have a very tender and coy relationship with her where mostly we are still best friends, and something between the 2 with him.

Mostly I am lurking about the boards and finding out how all this works!

kdt26417 05-10-2012 05:02 AM

Hello T43,
Welcome to our forum.

I can see that you've had some challenges, getting over the "conditioning hurdle," and figuring out boundaries in this "strange" new lovestyle. I'm sure you'll do well, and Polyamory.com will be able to help.

With lots of regards,
Kevin T.

Moonglow 05-11-2012 11:41 PM

Hi there,

Sounds like you are navigating just fine. Nice to meet you and best wishes with your relationships. :)


CielDuMatin 05-11-2012 11:51 PM

Nice to see another positive tale! We hear so many stories of how badly things are working out, so this makes a nice addition.

A proper welcome!

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