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-   -   Ted Turner is open about four relationships (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=23461)

FrankLee 05-04-2012 02:12 AM

Ted Turner is open about four relationships
 
Ted Turner, founder of CNN and noted for philanthropy, such as when he wrote one check for a billion dollars to the United Nations, was interviewed by Piers Morgan on CNN tonight. Among other things, he was asked how he manages his relationships with four girlfriends. "It's not easy," said Turner who has explained elsewhere that he spends about a week per month with each of them.

Asked by Morgan what made him choose this lifestyle, he explained, "Well, if one leaves me, it won't hurt so much." Turner elaborated that he was so devastated by Jane Fonda leaving him, that he never wanted to get married again. "I always heard, three strikes and you're out," explained Turner, who has been married three times.

Turner continued explaining how this works, "I'm good friends with all four," to which Morgan asked, "Are they good friends with each other?" "Some are, some aren't," said Turner.

The only one of his four relationships who has been acknowledged publicly is novelist Elizabeth Dewberry. It was not explained, and I have found no reference in the press to it, but it would be interesting to know if any of the four women also have other relationships. My guess is that at least one of them does. Just a hunch.

BlackUnicorn 05-06-2012 04:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FrankLee (Post 134816)
Asked by Morgan what made him choose this lifestyle, he explained, "Well, if one leaves me, it won't hurt so much." Turner elaborated that he was so devastated by Jane Fonda leaving him, that he never wanted to get married again. "I always heard, three strikes and you're out," explained Turner, who has been married three times.

Talking about using people the cater to your insecurities! I bet it was edited a lot, but it sounds really bad. I hope all four are happy to be stand-ins for each other.

nycindie 05-06-2012 08:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn (Post 135129)
Talking about using people the cater to your insecurities!

Maybe they use him for his money. Maybe they all have an agreement to use each other for what they need. Maybe they all have other lovers too.

BlackUnicorn 05-06-2012 09:08 PM

I know. Maybe I'm unwilling to give him the benefit of the doubt because I suspect he's had quite a bit of cosmetic surgery and I am prejudiced against people who've had extensive work done on their face. It just makes them look insincere to me :eek:.

nycindie 05-06-2012 10:54 PM

I don't know, he looks pretty natural on the cover of Hollywood Reporter.

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/sit...rner_cover.jpg

From their article:
His energy may be flagging, but some drive keeps propelling him forward, in an unending race to achieve more — or outrun his inner demons.

The 2001 departure of Jane Fonda from his life, after a 10-year marriage, may have fueled this. He admits it shook him profoundly and perhaps contributed to the sense one has of his being emotionally adrift, no matter how vast his accomplishments. Often, during our conversations, he tunnels down a track of his own — spending 15 minutes on his Voluntary Initiatives, for instance — as if his mind is full of his own thoughts and private obsessions.

He has replaced Fonda with a new arrangement, alternating among four girlfriends, each of whom gets approximately a week per month of his time. "Pretty much, that’s the general rule,” he says.

One, novelist Elizabeth Dewberry, is with him here in New York, where he’s spending some time for U.N. Week. Charming and refined, she assures me in the few seconds we get to speak that Turner is 
affectionate and fully loving, whatever Fonda’s statements may have 
implied to the contrary. But Dewberry’s history is almost as complicated as her lover’s: She was married to Pulitzer Prize-winning author Robert Olen Butler, who wrote a somewhat extraordinary e-mail to his colleagues when she left him for Turner. "She will not be Ted’s only girlfriend,” he mused. “Ted is permanently and avowedly nonmonogamous. But though he has several girlfriends, it is a very small number, and he does not take them 
up lightly, and he gives them his absolute support when he does. And 
Elizabeth’s leaving me is as much about the three weeks a month she is alone as it is about the week a month she is with Ted."

Turner doesn’t name the other women in his life. When asked if they are OK with this division of spoils, he hesitates. "Sort of.”

He misses intimacy, he says, but recognizes: “I’ve been married three times, and with my background in baseball [Turner owned the Atlanta Braves], I remember the first rule of the game is, three strikes and you’re out. I regret that I wasn’t more successful with my marriages, but it is what it is.” Is he lonely? He pauses. "Maybe a little.”
The rest of the article is pretty good. He seems like a decent man who still has lots of insecurities. It's here: http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/new...-warner-295773

FrankLee 05-07-2012 04:12 AM

Polyamory as "relationship insurance."
 
Actually, I'm somewhat appreciative of Turner's reason for being non-monagamous. Polyamory feels safer than monogamy in terms of the suffering that can result from a failed relationship. Having felt the pain of being on a sinking ship when there was only one ship, is something I'd rather not experience again.

Tonberry 05-07-2012 08:37 AM

I am personally a bit sensitive to that kind of phrasing, since when I came out about having two men in my life one person's reaction was "that's handy, if one of them dies or dumps you, you will have one left". It felt extremely offensive to me and to them, and reading pretty much the same thing is kind of a sore spot.

This being said, you can have less committed, less involved relationships, that will hurt less or differently when they end, and when you have more than one partner, one relationship ending still offers you the support of the others.

Still, I can't imagine someone would say something similar about children for instance. Ted Turner is free to describe his own relationship, but I hope it was really him doing so and not somebody else, as it was done for me.

BlackUnicorn 05-07-2012 12:12 PM

Oh wow, I had a completely different face I was thinking about. The full article paints a lot more sympathetic pciture, tbh. The only reason why I even know his name is an article I read years back on Jane Fonda where she described Ted as the "love of her life" but went on to say that it was necessary for her to develop independence and not be somebody's (trophy) wife all the time.

nycindie 05-08-2012 07:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FrankLee (Post 135200)
Polyamory feels safer than monogamy in terms of the suffering that can result from a failed relationship. Having felt the pain of being on a sinking ship when there was only one ship, is something I'd rather not experience again.

So, you think poly relationships don't hurt when they end?

nycindie 05-08-2012 07:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn (Post 135224)
The only reason why I even know his name is an article I read years back on Jane Fonda where she described Ted as the "love of her life" but went on to say that it was necessary for her to develop independence and not be somebody's (trophy) wife all the time.

Isn't it nuts that Jane Fonda felt like she was always seen as someone else's wife? I mean, freaking Jane Fonda!!! She always appeared to be her own person, and I don't think anyone ever saw her as so-and-so's wife before they recognized who she was. Her husbands were famous too, but I wouldn't say they were moreso than she. Just goes to show ya how insidious such insecurities are for women in patriarchal Western culture.


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