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-   -   So Hard (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=23460)

FFontario 05-04-2012 01:10 AM

So Hard
Ok so I don't get why this is so freaking hard to meet others who are Poly and more importantly who are compatible. I just want to have another gf and maybe a bf and hoave a poly family.

ThatGirlInGray 05-04-2012 01:19 AM

There are TONS of single people who could tell you that finding ANY compatible person is difficult. Many of my single friends are currently in their 30's and recount horror stories of people who are either (mono and) already taken, or still single for a REASON! And they aren't even looking for a relationship structure outside of the mainstream.

Add in being open to poly, multiply by the number of people you want in your poly family (squared!) and it's absolutely going to be difficult. But anything worth having is worth being patient and working hard for, right?

CielDuMatin 05-07-2012 07:10 PM

Yeah, I totally agree - there are VERY few folks that I would be interested in having anything more than a conversation with. Having that whole "poly" thing restricts your available "pool", as it were. once you start weeding out those whose way of doing poly is utterly incompatible with yours, it gets to be slim pickings.

But on the flip side, I have found that compromising and "settling" ends up hitting back at you down the road, and causing drama and grief.

If you are getting frustrated (and it sounds like you are), take a look at your criteria, and explore if there is anything in there that you could relax as a requirement that might open up the pool of folks a little...

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