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-   -   Tips on introductions? (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=23036)

missmuse 04-13-2012 08:32 PM

Tips on introductions?
 
So, my new partner has expressed interest in meeting my girlfriend (yay!).

Any good ideas for how to go about it, generally speaking?

I'm thinking neutral ground is probably a good idea, and I've come around to thinking I should probably leave the two of them alone at least for part of it.

I think the last time this happened (which was really more of friendly sexy connection) I kind of botched things by being physically affectionate right off the bat with both of them in front of the other. It didn't seem weird at all to me, but both of them separately later told me it was unexpected/unsettling.

I get a little bit of time to think about it/plan things out because the meeting itself is getting put off until after exams next week, so I thought I'd ask around and see if any of you had any advice.

redpepper 04-13-2012 08:46 PM

I have found that letting others take the lead is best. Create an occasion to all be together publically, introduce them and see where it goes. Sit down for a drink or dinner or just make space for them to say hi. Whatever you think is best. Ya, the physical contact is best kept minimum. A reassuring hand on the arm or something is nice, but making out or fondling them sexually, ya no.

CielDuMatin 04-13-2012 09:24 PM

I really think that you are on the right track with your thoughts on this.

I'd pick a neutral place where you can be social - I have done the "getting to meet" thing in an Applebees and a local coffee shop (I preferred the latter). Let things flow, and don't try to "facilitate" or force things too much.

Alleycat 04-15-2012 07:34 PM

Three pints and a plate of nachos at the pub is my usual method.

personally I'd recommend avoiding a place where the music or chatter of other patrons is too loud, and not a place where you cant have an excuse to vanish for a few minutes to allow them to get acquainted with each other.

Conventions, car shows, art exhibits and the like also work wonders if its more comfortable for everyone to keep active or keep moving instead of sitting down and chatting.

missmuse 04-15-2012 10:00 PM

So essentially, employ the same skills/manners I would for, say, a first date.... and try and stay back.

Think I got it. ^^

redpepper 04-16-2012 04:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alleycat (Post 132711)
Three pints and a plate of nachos at the pub is my usual method.

Oh oh oh, meeee. Can I come? Nothing that I love more than a plate of nachos and a beer! :D

Alleycat 04-16-2012 10:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by redpepper (Post 132752)
Oh oh oh, meeee. Can I come? Nothing that I love more than a plate of nachos and a beer! :D

Lol. Sure, why not? :p


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