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-   -   how do i deal? (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2283)

Kraven 03-06-2010 10:45 AM

how do i deal?
 
If i'm in a monogamous relationship and i'm into things sexually that my partner isn't into...does that mean i can't do them if i'm with her? Or is there a way around it?

Things like orgies and group sex, dominatrix and role play...so forth and so on! Does being in a relationship with her mean that i must over look those particular fantasies in order to continue having a healthy relationship?

GroundedSpirit 03-06-2010 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kraven (Post 23659)
Does being in a relationship with her mean that i must over look those particular fantasies in order to continue having a healthy relationship?

Well, unfortunately it may ! You may be forced to make a choice really which is more important in your life. Which is truly more meaningful long term.

That being said - it's unfortunate. It SHOULDN'T be that way. But lots of things shouldn't be the way they are.
In an ideal world sexual differences would be treated no different than differences in food choice. Go get it if you want it.
Just please don't overeat and get sick on my rug :)

If your relationship is not close/solid enough that you can talk about such things openly and come to some mutually agreeable solution then it seems you have to make a choice.

The only thing I will add is this.

Hot kinky sex is fun at times but it doesn't always live up to the fantasy. It also isn't always something most of us find enjoyable long term. Or at least the drive fades some. It can get worn out & boring like anything else.

A good loving relationship is a rare thing indeed. And that never seems to "wear out".

Food for thought.

GS

Kraven 03-07-2010 04:05 AM

well well
 
That definately seems to be the proper response that clears up a lot of things!

I guess the only move left to make is trying to discuss the issue at hand! Ultimately if her position is unwavering then the answer/solution will be clear and present to us both!

I'm fully prepaired for any outcome because no matter what it will be the one needed!

The relationship isn't currently as strong as it could be so a break now could and would be best now (if needed of course) rather than later!

Ps. I understand how precious a good relationship is and I'd rather it not flourish now if only to break later due to the current issue being ignored! Thanks for the advise!


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