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-   -   Hello, from our poly "vee" family in L.A. (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=22825)

DevotedGeek 04-02-2012 07:39 PM

Hello, from our poly "vee" family in L.A.
 
Hello. I'm in an established and committed poly "vee" family in Southern California. In other words, there's three of us (me, my wife, and her OSO) and we all get along great together, one big family unit.

I came from seriously mono roots, and my wife and I were married over 15 years before opening up. I honestly struggled with the idea of polyamory, from both a moral as well as an emotional standpoint. The concept didn't come naturally to me, so I did a lot of reading, reached out to a number of my friends (who I discovered were also poly, go figure!), and had to experience it all first hand. Given time, it started to sink in, and I began to understand how wonderful and appropriate this type of relationship can be. The metamorphosis is now complete, and I'm happily poly myself as well.

I've has one serious OSO myself, and although we're not romantically involved anymore (she really needed a mono relationship), we're still best friends. It was a wonderful experience, and I cherish both our history together as well as our new relationship, deeper than a typical "vanilla" friendship.

I'd love to get to know everyone here, plus contribute where I can give value. In short, hello everyone! :)

JaneQSmythe 04-02-2012 11:12 PM

Hello and welcome!

Quote:

Originally Posted by DevotedGeek (Post 131205)
Hello. I'm in an established and committed poly "vee" family in Southern California. In other words, there's three of us (me, my wife, and her OSO) and we all get along great together, one big family unit.

That's wonderful. Our situation is somewhat similar. MrS and I will have our 16th wedding anniversary this year and Dude joined us to make our Vee a year ago later this month. How long has your Vee been together? Do you all live together?

Quote:

Originally Posted by DevotedGeek (Post 131205)
I came from seriously mono roots, and my wife and I were married over 15 years before opening up. I honestly struggled with the idea of polyamory, from both a moral as well as an emotional standpoint. The concept didn't come naturally to me, so I did a lot of reading, reached out to a number of my friends (who I discovered were also poly, go figure!), and had to experience it all first hand. Given time, it started to sink in, and I began to understand how wonderful and appropriate this type of relationship can be. The metamorphosis is now complete, and I'm happily poly myself as well.

Kudos on doing the work and putting in the time on something that didn't come naturally to you. The concept of poly seemed perfectly natural to me (I credit early exposure to the concept via Heinlein's science fiction). MrS agreed with it intellectually but had a major hurdle to overcome with the whole "another man having sex with my wife" aspect. I don't know that he will ever be poly himself (as he could have pursued outside interests at any time during the 20 years we've been together) but he is open to it if the right girl ever falls into his lap :p. Dude pretty much agreed with the whole concept but didn't have a word for it until he met me!

Quote:

Originally Posted by DevotedGeek (Post 131205)
I've has one serious OSO myself, and although we're not romantically involved anymore (she really needed a mono relationship), we're still best friends. It was a wonderful experience, and I cherish both our history together as well as our new relationship, deeper than a typical "vanilla" friendship.

Joy! There are many people here who maintain close friendships with exes (I don't have any exes so I can't relate personally - I'm ok with that :)). I wonder if it's because by the time people wrap their heads around poly they realize that relationships are fluid and dynamic and we aren't bound by traditional definitions if we don't want to be.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DevotedGeek (Post 131205)
I'd love to get to know everyone here, plus contribute where I can give value. In short, hello everyone! :)

I like to read through the new threads and then read the blogs here of the people that I think have said something interesting. As a member of a functioning Vee I think that you probably have a lot to add for people who are coming here looking for advise relating to their freshly minted Vees (and Ns/Zs/Ms/Ws :D). Looking forward to reading what you have to say.

In short, hello right back at you!

JaneQ

LotusesandRoses 04-03-2012 02:42 AM

Hi! Good to meet you!

DevotedGeek 04-03-2012 03:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JaneQSmythe (Post 131229)
How long has your Vee been together? Do you all live together?

Thank you for the warm welcome. We've been a vee for about two years now, not living together yet, but that's only temporary due to logistics. Once we get jobs/schooling/planets to align, we'll be one big happy family under a single roof. I really look forward to that day. In the meantime, we do a lot of traveling to each other, and constantly on FaceTime.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JaneQSmythe (Post 131229)
The concept of poly seemed perfectly natural to me (I credit early exposure to the concept via Heinlein's science fiction).

That's funny, because I clearly remember reading Heinlein's "Stranger in a Strange Land" when I was a kid. I never considered his "line marriage" to be anything other than a very strange scifi element... certainly nothing real or to possibly consider in real life. But when my wife mentioned "polyamory" to me the first time (and I finished looking it up on the web to figure out what it meant), the novel immediately came flooding back into my head. I kept going on and on about how "that's just like what Heinlein wrote!" or "seriously honey, look at this!" (showing her the novel). LOL Ok, so maybe I was a little slow on the uptake. I also didn't realize that light sabres represented swords when I saw Star Wars as a kid. (I was really little back then... that's my excuse. ;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by JaneQSmythe (Post 131229)
I like to read through the new threads and then read the blogs here of the people that I think have said something interesting. As a member of a functioning Vee I think that you probably have a lot to add for people who are coming here looking for advise relating to their freshly minted Vees (and Ns/Zs/Ms/Ws :D). Looking forward to reading what you have to say.

Hopefully we'll also be a freshly minted N again someday. We used to be for about a year or so, but now we're back to being a V for the time being.


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