||03-04-2010 11:56 PM
Just kind of fell into this…
I'm a happily married childfree woman, been with my husband for six and a half years, married three and a half. It's wonderful to see some mono partners poking around this site because my husband, while he's very supportive of the relationship I have budding, isn't interested in finding another lover, and he thinks that's a little weird.
I didn't try to find someone else, but sometimes it's not something you choose when you fall I guess. What I appreciate the most about this whole experience is the freedom to (a) not feel guilty about natural chemistry and (2) not question "what this means" for my marriage, that I could have feelings for another man. This is huge; so many marriages and relationships are built on the "if I love someone else I must not love the other person anymore" foundation, and it's a relief to not feel like my love for my husband is compromised, because it's so not.
We're still working out logistics and boundaries with Shiny New BF and his girlfriend (also poly), but things are new, feelings are strong and everything's exciting! We're learning as we go, but we're starting from a place of stability, love, support and open communication. I'm a little afraid of momentum in this time of boundaries still being determined, but it's a great adventure.
I'm thrilled to find this forum and see so many thoughtful people coming together to help those of us who are new to this with advice and guidance.