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-   -   Just kind of fell into this… (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2267)

CFstasha 03-04-2010 11:56 PM

Just kind of fell into this…
 
I'm a happily married childfree woman, been with my husband for six and a half years, married three and a half. It's wonderful to see some mono partners poking around this site because my husband, while he's very supportive of the relationship I have budding, isn't interested in finding another lover, and he thinks that's a little weird.

I didn't try to find someone else, but sometimes it's not something you choose when you fall I guess. What I appreciate the most about this whole experience is the freedom to (a) not feel guilty about natural chemistry and (2) not question "what this means" for my marriage, that I could have feelings for another man. This is huge; so many marriages and relationships are built on the "if I love someone else I must not love the other person anymore" foundation, and it's a relief to not feel like my love for my husband is compromised, because it's so not.

We're still working out logistics and boundaries with Shiny New BF and his girlfriend (also poly), but things are new, feelings are strong and everything's exciting! We're learning as we go, but we're starting from a place of stability, love, support and open communication. I'm a little afraid of momentum in this time of boundaries still being determined, but it's a great adventure.

I'm thrilled to find this forum and see so many thoughtful people coming together to help those of us who are new to this with advice and guidance.

CielDuMatin 03-05-2010 12:03 AM

Welcome to the forum. Yes there are quite a few folks here in a poly/mono configuration, and it definitely can be made to work and work well. Most find that it is a bit more of a challenge, but workable.

I hope that you and he find what you need here.

MonoVCPHG 03-05-2010 01:36 AM

Your husband is fine. He only stands out in non-monogamous circles :)

SchrodingersCat 03-05-2010 06:17 AM

Ours is one more to add to the mono-poly list. My husband is interested in casual sex, I'm interested in romantic relationships. My husband has enough trouble dealing with the emotions of one woman, let alone two, and god forbid more than that :P

Kudos to your husband for being supportive and dealing with this new turn in your marriage, especially when he doesn't share those feelings himself. Good catch!! :)

vandalin 03-05-2010 09:18 PM

Welcome! My husband is the same, not interested in anyone else while I am the one who fell. Enjoy the NRE no matter what may come. :)

CFstasha 03-06-2010 04:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat (Post 23554)
Kudos to your husband for being supportive and dealing with this new turn in your marriage, especially when he doesn't share those feelings himself. Good catch!! :)

He *is* a great catch, thank you!! I am a lucky, lucky girl.


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