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-   -   Weird because it's not weird... (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=22613)

OkNewbs 03-26-2012 11:15 AM

Weird because it's not weird...
Over the weekend, I met a woman online. We really hit it off. Per our rules, Hubbs came with last night to meet B (my GF :D ) in person. She turned out to be amazing. ABSOLUTELY everything I hoped for, but didn't expect.

Throughout the text flirting, emails & the mini-date meeting B, Hubbs was amazing... supportive, happy that I was happy, and an excellent wing-man to boot! When she & I started talking, she was dating someone, so a triad wasn't a consideration. They are no longer together tho. And she did make some comments & jokes that seemed like advances at the Hubbs, too. She made several comments about the 3 of us being "one big happy family" and some sexual jokes directed at the Hubbs. (Amazingly, I was totally ok with it.. I tend to be a bit jealous when it comes to him)

We're not really sure if we're reading her correctly, so we are just letting that happen naturally. The 3 of us got along great, as did our babies.

I've always been interested in women, but refused to admit it when I was younger, and then never had the opportunity to act on it as an adult. I feel like a kid again; nervous & excited about the whole situation. I expected there to be some awkwardness or even a little envy from the Hubbs with this, but it's all just flowing so naturally.

It almost makes me uneasy that it's going so smoothly. Trying not to get my hopes up, but that is proving quite difficult.

I spent last night trying to sleep, with little success & today I'll be nervously cleaning as we are hanging out at my place tonight.

I'm so glad I found this forum so Hubbs & I could really get some insight before taking that first step. :D

mixer 03-26-2012 02:32 PM

“Weird because it's not weird…”

That sums up our lives right now very well. Our little triad is off to quite a giddy start, and we all go back and forth between “Wow this is weird” and “Wow, for something so weird this feels so right and natural”.

Ain’t it great?

OkNewbs 03-26-2012 02:41 PM


Originally Posted by mixer (Post 130343)
“Weird because it's not weird…”

That sums up our lives right now very well. Our little triad is off to quite a giddy start, and we all go back and forth between “Wow this is weird” and “Wow, for something so weird this feels so right and natural”.

Ain’t it great?

We're not a triad at this point. More a vee. Right now anyway. Hubbs & I are hoping it evolves into a triad, but not holding out breath either. We're really not sure how to broach that subject with her. :/

But yes, even as it is now, it's awesome. :D

OkNewbs 03-26-2012 05:11 PM

How to proceed??
I posted earlier today about B, a woman I *just* became involved with. She and I have spoken a lot, but only met in person last night. The group meeting consisted of me, Hubbs, B, B's daughter R & My/Hubb's daughter L. Everyone got along great. B turned out to be basically a mix of me & Hubbs, personality-wise, with some other stuff thrown in too of course. B & I fell for each other while texting, but the meeting solidified it. Hubbs thought she seemed cool, but once he met her he fell too.

As mentioned in my previous post, she made some comments about us all being "one big happy family." At the end of the evening she asked what Hubbs was looking for in a woman so B could help look. He listed some attributes & her response to each was "That sounds like me" or "I do that" or the like. She also made some sexual remarks that seemed on the surface to be jokes, but at the same time made us pause. There was even mention (again, on the surface was a joke, but we're not really sure) of cohabitation. Without thinking, I popped off with "We'll need a bigger bed!" She laughed, and then just kind of stared at me for a minute. So either I was way out of line, or all 3 of us have the same idea but no one really knows it yet.

I'm inclined to drop hints, maybe, and kind of put the ball in her court. Hubbs wants to just tell her outright he's interested in B. B has said she's not opposed to having both a male & a female lover simultaneously, but I have no idea how she would feel about a true triad, as opposed to her being the hinge in her own Vee.

Since this is such a new relationship, I am reluctant to rock the boat too much. (Especially since we don't really know her feelings for him, or on a triad. She's made her feelings for me clear, but that's it.) Yet at the same time, I don't want to dismiss Hubb's feelings, or even have the appearance of such.

So how do we do this? What are the proper steps in this type of situation? I would love any advice, personal stories, whatever.

nycindie 03-26-2012 05:23 PM

All I can say is:

G o
s l o o o o o w ly . . . .

redpepper 03-26-2012 11:09 PM

You might find it helpful to read up on some theory as created by the members on the forum. All of it taken from their own trials and tried and true situations and from what they have brought from elsewhere. Try doing a tag search for "lessons" and "foundations" and you will find some interesting stuff.

OkNewbs 03-27-2012 01:34 PM

Wow. Everything kind of worked itself out. She brought up the triad option, as she was in fact interested in it. Everything is just going so smoothly. It's almost scary. Like everyone is waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I'm very relieved on the one hand, but very nervous at the same time.

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