Polyamory.com Forum

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-   -   Hi all! (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=22557)

chirolypoly 03-23-2012 03:58 PM

Hi all!
I'm a new member from Chicago.

So, my story... My wife and I have been together nearly 19 years and married for almost 16. We have shared our bed with friends on occasion over the years. We've had an open relationship for about five years now.

One of our friends, my best friend, has been with us since the late nineties. About two years ago, my wife realized she had fallen in love with him. (He feels the same.) I think she took it harder than I did, though I can't say I haven't had the occasional worry. Mostly, it's been smooth sailing, though.

So, now I find myself part of a poly relationship. I guess I'm here to learn more about all of this and read others' stories.

I tend to be a bit on the shy and quiet side of things, so I'll probably lurk more than participate. But, I thought I should introduce myself. Nice to "meet" you all.

FrankLee 03-25-2012 03:56 AM

It's interesting to see your comfort level with the lifestyle. I'm new here as well, not only to the forum but to the lifestyle, which I endorse but have yet to practice. For many years it has seemed right for me, but this is the first time I've decided to take a stand and tell potential partners that this is what I want.

I have found my way around the forum, technically speaking. If you have any questions about that, feel free to ask.

Phy 03-25-2012 07:42 AM

He, welcome :)

You sound like my men ^.^ I was the one freaking out when I realized that 'multiple' loves are possible and happened to me, I needed years, my husband came to terms with it in some weeks. Both men are just like 'it is what it is' and we live well with it.

Read as much as you can, it helped us tremendously, especially I needed the experience of others to come to terms with all the possibilities out there.

chirolypoly 03-26-2012 05:47 PM

Thanks for the welcomes.

I think it was easier on me having my wife and best friend fall in love. I can understand what someone would see in both of them and want the best for them. When everything came to light, I offered my wife an easy out, which she didn't take. That made it much easier for me to accept that she still loved me as much as she ever had. He is "in addition to", not "instead of", and I do believe that.

The NRE (love the terms I'm picking up here) can be a bit difficult to watch, since we've been doing the daily grind for so many years now. I just have to remind myself that that IS what new love looks like. (He lives many states away. They only see each other two or three times a year, so they're still all giddy when they see each other.)

I can certainly see how it would, or could, be more difficult if you're the one who wakes up and discovers you've fallen in love with someone else. I'm so glad you (Phy) worked through that and are happy.

This site looks like it will be a wonderful resource.

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