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-   -   Recommendations on Handling the Societal Issues (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=22278)

threefunguys 03-15-2012 01:29 AM

Recommendations on Handling the Societal Issues
 
So new to the forum and have been in a poly of three men for about 2 years. The relatioinship joined a couple who had been together for 17 years. We have dealt with many of the things that seem to be common to a poly. The couple decided to end it as there were issues, primarly around family and jealousy that seemed not to be overcome.

We are back with the same three talking again with new interest and as well as progress on the previous issues. The new issue that seems to be on the table is just acceptance in society - work, social settings, etc....This has changed somewhat as the third member is in a new job and is not sure how to handle this.

Any recommendations, suggestions or resources that anyone has in dealing with this things?

KyleKat 03-15-2012 03:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by threefunguys (Post 128838)
So new to the forum and have been in a poly of three men for about 2 years. The relatioinship joined a couple who had been together for 17 years. We have dealt with many of the things that seem to be common to a poly. The couple decided to end it as there were issues, primarly around family and jealousy that seemed not to be overcome.

We are back with the same three talking again with new interest and as well as progress on the previous issues. The new issue that seems to be on the table is just acceptance in society - work, social settings, etc....This has changed somewhat as the third member is in a new job and is not sure how to handle this.

Any recommendations, suggestions or resources that anyone has in dealing with this things?

There's a reason it's called a private life. Tell your partners not to worry about it at their job. If they are friends with someone there and absolutely must tell them (such in my case cuz I'm a blabber mouth) just make sure you aren't telling anyone that's going to get you in trouble.

RfromRMC 03-15-2012 07:39 PM

Well there are basically two parts to your question.

For work stuff, like the other poster said: Your private life is your private life. I don't care for coworkers to know diddly squat about me unless I trust them enough as a friend. And that's extremely rare because I've never felt comfortable socializing much at work anyways. The less they know the better, usually.

But for social settings...as in friends and such? Whole other story! You're three guys. I'm assuming most of your circles of friends consists of other LGBT and LGBT-friendly people, right? My feeling is, if folks in those crowds can handle two men together but not three, then they really need to get a grip. Alas, I have met some gay men who can be complete hypocrites---wanted acceptance for themself but not opening their minds to other possibilities such as poly. But fortunately, they are only a small subset. My feeling is your friends should accept this and if they don't, they weren't good friends to begin with and you're better off without 'em.

threefunguys 03-20-2012 11:08 PM

Thanks for the tips...For us it is a bit more complicated without going into all the details, but generally agree. I think we are just looking for examples or suggestions from others who have gone here before us.


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