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cuddlebugbelle 03-12-2012 01:48 AM

He calls me his shadowcat
 
Hi! I'm Belle and I am a college student and a writer. I'm just getting started in my first poly relationship with my boyfriend Vampire Daddy. He has a girlfriend, GK that he lives with and she's got a new boyfriend so we're a newly formed quad. I met Vampire Daddy and GK (she's his primary) at a fetish event after having been single for almost a year and I couldn't believe my luck. A girl that I'd met there introduced us and we spent all of our time together while we were there. He and I had this instant chemistry that was like nothing I'd felt before.

I thought it was just a one time meeting and that I'd never see him again. Of course I was surprised when he sent me a message the next day through a social network we're both members of with his phone number. He sent me a text 3-4 days later and we went from there. I didn't think that it would get very far at all but apparently I impressed GK and Vampire Daddy with the little things that I did for them so much that she's mentioned wanting both myself and her other boyfriend to move in within the next 6 months.

I'm really hoping that this all works out with them because I have a feeling that they're exactly what I need. I hope I'll get to know a lot of people here and gain knowledge that'll help me navigate my way through the ups and downs of a poly relationship.

Well I think I've covered what I need to and I can't wait to get to know you all!

KyleKat 03-12-2012 06:36 AM

Welcome, and congrats.

Keep in mind that moving in is a huge leap. You have to consider everything, not just romance and feelings. The added stress of higher utilities, food, etc mixed with the stress of rent if someone misses a payment is a factor. You've also got personality types (Type A, slobs, etc) to consider. Six months is a long time to learn all of this, but I would do some partial living first just to make sure you all mesh. Especially with someone else joining the fold. If you and Mr. X don't get along, that will be bad.

Assuming none of the above is an issue then move forward and be happy! Lucky ducky!

cuddlebugbelle 03-12-2012 04:31 PM

Rent won't be an issue since they own the home they're living in as well as another one nearby. We talked about it and decided that if I moved in, it would be best if I didn't work since they've both got jobs that pay extremely well so that I can focus on finishing school. Because I wouldn't be working I'd be taking over the cooking, general housework and childcare once the youngest child has grown up a bit. I'm going to be staying over 1-3 days a wee starting around Wednesday or Thursday so we'll see how that goes. We all have similar personalities so that shouldn't be an issue.

Thank you! I'm looking forward to my first stay over there.

KyleKat 03-12-2012 04:39 PM

Sounds like you've had all the appropriate conversations! Good! Hope it works out.

opalescent 03-12-2012 05:20 PM

Cuddlebugbelle,

If you haven't already, search for 'unicorn', 'third', 'NRE', and 'couple', 'couples' and so on. There are a number of threads on the forum from both couples seeking a third or fourth and the 'unicorns' they find (you would be the unicorn here). Many of the threads detail how things can go badly, badly wrong.

I am concerned about your possible situation because you will be dependent on this couple, even as you take over child care and household chores while you go to school. That can be disastrous for you. If there are problems, and there are always problems, you may not have the resources you need to leave or have the security to ask for changes, to ask for what you want and need in the relationship.

The rapidity of the relationship and how quickly both people in the couple want you to move in is suspicious. Many couples want a very long time before considering moving in a partner. Are they significantly older than you? You do not mention age ranges. Your youth is also worrisome - not in the sense that you are young and thus clueless - cluelessness is an 'age-free' condition. Young and dumb are not inevitably linked. But youth does mean inexperience. Here is where I am worried for you. Please, please read here and elsewhere about triads gone wrong, sometimes in outright predatory and abusive ways. Bluntly, and please excuse my crudeness, make sure you are not a nanny and maid they fuck instead of actually pay. I wish you all the best and I hope they are all you want.

StreetRacer 03-12-2012 06:31 PM

Welcome and congrats!
new here too :)


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