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-   -   Too long alone brings on the FEVER (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=22030)

FrankLee 03-05-2012 03:27 PM

Too long alone brings on the FEVER
Possibly, it's not good to be alone too long. It's been a year and a half, but it could have ended for her even before that. I think she got bored with me. I'm not sure what she thinks. We were too polite to discuss it.

But, it's been at least 18 months alone and I've decided to connect again... with some one, by God, at this point, anyone. Of course, the fever to connect so consumes me that I fear I will make an unwise choice, since my chemistry is surging far ahead of my good sense.

Any votes out there... on either side... chemistry or reason.

CuriousMuse 03-05-2012 04:14 PM

I have never been able to disconnect the two. The one will always interfere with the other. But that's maybe a girly thing. :)
The mind. Without an intellectual connection the chemistry is dead in the water for me.
As to suitability, there's always risk isn't there? I have never quite worked out how to do a risk assessment on any relationship and actually, now, I don't feel the need. I cannot consider what will happen ad infinitum, only whether there is a positive connection and potential for mutual pleasure and growth as a person. Hurt, it seems to me, is almost inevitable even when bitter sweet.

drtalon 03-05-2012 04:47 PM


...with some one, by God, at this point, anyone...
Desperation is rarely an attractive quality.

FrankLee 03-05-2012 06:18 PM

.... may be overstating it. "Unfounded urgency" may be more of the situation. Never the less, the feelings of urgency are there, and I'm fighting it, which is why I'm posting about it.

dingedheart 03-05-2012 08:44 PM

I'd say the feedback from the new women would be an indicator or barometer as to how much chemistry to let loose.

Too much and you could crash and burn the first time out....could set you back mentally. Something to think about.

Good luck D

redpepper 03-05-2012 10:03 PM

Spring fever? ;) it might take some very calm, cool and collective pacing. Good luck!

feelyunicorn 03-07-2012 12:24 PM

My vote is for both; which, at this point, sounds like (boo-hoo!) casual sex.

redpepper 03-07-2012 07:31 PM

Maybe you should look for a swingers club near you... or hook up on line. I would suggest staying away from the cheaters though... It seems to work for some to just keep it all casual until someone comes along that is into more. Thing is that one can also get stuck in "casual" and never find anything more. It depends what you want. It depends on you. You could find the partners of your dreams at a swingers club or where ever, or you could find that the partners you are looking for wouldn't be interested in you BECAUSE you have been indulging in casual sport sex. It all depends... at least that is what I have found.

nycindie 03-07-2012 07:46 PM

Hmm, somehow I did not get the sense that the OP is looking just for sexual relief. I think he wants a connection, companionship, and not being alone anymore.

redpepper 03-07-2012 07:54 PM

I didn't either, but maybe he is the type that could burn off a little of the 'ol spring fever with some good 'ol fucking a stranger. :p Then he could get down to the business of finding a situation that suits him better.

I find it rather hilarious that I am wondering this as I would not consider it myself, but whatever, just a suggestion. :D I don't get that whole thing, but it seems to work for some soooo....

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