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-   -   Exploring polyamory (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=22001)

Qarzan 03-04-2012 05:11 AM

Exploring polyamory
Hi! I've just recently learned about polyamory and decided to join this forum.

Just last year I went through a divorce (married for 7 years) and have been questioning everything I believe in.

I think the biggest step for me was accepting my ex-wife for who she was, not being angry at her, and still remaining friends. The divorce became final only 4 months ago, but we're already talking with each other, having dinner together, sharing details of our lives... I care about her more than any of my other friends, and still consider her to be family (although my family feels otherwise).

This led me to start questioning traditional notions of love, starting with the idea, "Why do divorced people have to hate each other?" Then later on it developed the idea, "Why does involvement in one romantic relationship automatically preclude the development of another?"

I was first reading about Buddhism, and was in the process of identifying and controlling my negative traits, when I realized my biggest flaw was jealousy.

After more research about jealousy, I came upon the book "The Ethical Slut." A lot of it made sense and went well with what I was learning about Buddhism, so I decided to explore it a bit more, find out more about it, and make a truly informed decision about whether I should be polyamorous or monogamous.

Anyways, I will write more in other threads as questions and concerns develop. I've only just begun to learn about polyamory.

NovemberRain 03-04-2012 07:02 PM

Welcome to the forum! :D

Moonglow 03-06-2012 02:12 AM

Hi and welcome. Nice story, I often had wondered the same thing about divorce. I think for me it was the influence of others that made my ex stop talking to me. I miss him but I think it is ok to let him go his own way, I didn't try to influence him back into my life, but you do ask an interesting question.


StreetRacer 03-07-2012 11:23 PM

Welcome, I'm new too
glad you can still have a positive relationship with your ex-wife :)

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