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-   -   Not quite out in the open. (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=21807)

CuriousMuse 02-26-2012 12:31 AM

Not quite out in the open.
I have visited here often out of curiousity. So now I am saying 'hello' but still from behind a veil. That is just my need for privacy whilst I consider my path. I find this forum one of the most respectful I have read online. And that is not particularly relationship forums, I mean business forums, interest groups. People can be so angry and ill-mannered!
I am in my mid-40's but feel like a girl in a woman's body. I read your thread about 'cougars' and was shocked to find that I fit into the age bracket of 'older women'. When did that happen?!
I am single, possibly otherwise involved, we are in a pause and an exploration of what we both truly need. Life, the needs of others', work, time. It is not so uncomplicated as one might wish being a 'grown-up'.
So, I think that is me, for now.

NovemberRain 02-26-2012 04:48 AM

Welcome. :)

Moonglow 02-26-2012 02:01 PM

Hello welcome to the boards. :)

I am in my mid-40's but feel like a girl in a woman's body.
Love this... feel similar! :) You are in good company here!

NovemberRain 02-26-2012 06:21 PM

I frequently feel that way too. I remember my mom telling me (and I'm so grateful she did) about feeling that way. She would have dreams that she was walking to high school ~ her high school was on the other side of the river, and in those days girls were not permitted to wear pants, and she had to cross a nasty breezy bridge in the winter ~ and she'd be thinking, 'I shouldn't be here, I need to take care of my baby.

But she also mentioned that sometimes she'd be driving around with me in the car, and she'd think, 'what am I doing? I'm not old enough to be driving and taking care of a kid!'

My other favorite take on that feeling is from Heinlein. In _Stranger In A Strange Land_, he describes a statue of an old woman. Jubal is explaining to Michael (I think ~ he's explaining to someone) that anyone can make a statue of an old woman, but it takes a brilliant artist to show us an old woman while making us see the beautiful 16 year old inside.

CuriousMuse 02-26-2012 07:54 PM

What a lovely set of replies and thank you for the welcome.
I'm not sure it always hits that chord - feeling younger inside. Referring to my attitude at work a colleague recently said to me, "If I didn't know your life I'd put you at least 10 years younger." That would make me her age. It felt churlish to say "Honey if I didn't know yours I'd put you at least 10 years older!". Horses for courses I guess. But I'm not ready to hang up my boots and sit on the sofa of life quite yet :)

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