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-   -   opening heart and mind (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=21716)

chatteringsilence 02-22-2012 06:21 PM

opening heart and mind
 
Hi Folks,

I am a single woman working to open her heart and mind and am doing some challenging of old, outdated, messages and conceptions regarding love, intimacy, relationships, and trust.

I was in a relationship with a woman, a married woman, with her husband's consent. This was working out fairly well, but she and I became more intensely connected, and he was left behind. It all became very confusing, and she has gone back to her primary relationship. At that point, I closed the door saying I COULD NOT be in a poly relationship with her. I am coming to realize that the COULD NOT is my own shit. It is heavily related to old messages and violations of trust. I also know in my heart that I love this woman dearly...and frankly I love (but am not attracted to) her husband. I am not sure that she and I will get back together, but I know that I am unwilling to let my old, generally unevaluated crap, hold me back from loving others....

So I'm reading, talking, thinking, writing....and joining this group. I doubt I'll be very vocal, but I look forward to learning from you.

Thanks for being here!
cs :)

ImaginaryIllusion 02-23-2012 04:07 AM

Welcome to the Forum.

nancyfore 02-25-2012 01:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chatteringsilence (Post 126170)
Hi Folks,

I am a single woman working to open her heart and mind and am doing some challenging of old, outdated, messages and conceptions regarding love, intimacy, relationships, and trust.

I was in a relationship with a woman, a married woman, with her husband's consent. This was working out fairly well, but she and I became more intensely connected, and he was left behind. It all became very confusing, and she has gone back to her primary relationship. At that point, I closed the door saying I COULD NOT be in a poly relationship with her. I am coming to realize that the COULD NOT is my own shit. It is heavily related to old messages and violations of trust. I also know in my heart that I love this woman dearly...and frankly I love (but am not attracted to) her husband. I am not sure that she and I will get back together, but I know that I am unwilling to let my old, generally unevaluated crap, hold me back from loving others....

So I'm reading, talking, thinking, writing....and joining this group. I doubt I'll be very vocal, but I look forward to learning from you.

Thanks for being here!
cs :)

The introspection is awesome!! So few really take the time to think, listen, and learn and then do something about it.. KUDOS!!


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