Polyamory.com Forum

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fayknight 02-19-2012 05:00 AM

Hi ..
 
Hi, I've been browsing this forum for a while and thought I'd say hi.

I'm a 24 year old west coast girl with a 9+ year relationship with my partner (male). We've been on the periphery of swinging/open/poly for a few years now and recently moved to the Monterey, CA area. We're having a hard time finding like-minded people to meet and be friends/maybe more (the last swinger thing we went too was to a-emotional for us).

Anyway, just thought I'd say Hi and maybe meet some people here! :)

ImaginaryIllusion 02-19-2012 07:43 AM

Welcome to the Forum.

I believe there may be some local support in San Francisco. Check the Poly Events All Over Calendars, and perhaps there'll be something with only a minor road trip.

fayknight 02-19-2012 07:33 PM

Thanks for the link! That's definitely helpful. ;)

We have been thinking about attending a poly meet-up for a while now but are a little nervous about the "swinger" stigma we've run into (from individuals) before ... Is that normally a problem at poly events or is it just from certain people?

drtalon 02-19-2012 07:49 PM

I've seen a few people post on other forums who are vehemently opposed to the idea of swinging and disliking anyone willing to participate in sex-for-sex's-sake. But, I've never met people like that. I've met plenty of people who think non-monogamy is a continuum between poly and swinging, where most people fall somewhere in between. I've heard others with the opinion that poly and swinging are unrelated and you can be/do/have both kind of relationships.

On the east coast, my experience is that most people don't care so much. My understanding is opinions (and definitions) can be very different in other areas.

ImaginaryIllusion 02-20-2012 09:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fayknight (Post 125772)
We have been thinking about attending a poly meet-up for a while now but are a little nervous about the "swinger" stigma we've run into (from individuals) before ... Is that normally a problem at poly events or is it just from certain people?

It's unfortunate to hear, but I suppose it does happen with some individuals. However I don't think any reasonably well run event would feature stigmatizing anyone, especially if you're there to meet and learn and see what poly is about.

The only time I could see a bad reaction would be if someone showed up to an event to start poaching, or hitting on new people without regard for the community norms...and it wouldn't matter if they called themselves swingers or poly or a platypus; they probably wouldn't be invited back. It doesn't sound like you're a poacher, so you should be good.

So yeah, hopefully you can leave the unpleasantness of a couple individuals behind, as I believe it's likely the exception rather than the rule.


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