Polyamory.com Forum

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-   -   If you are a Newbie and you know it..Share your post! ;) (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2150)

ClaireNC 02-15-2010 05:28 AM

If you are a Newbie and you know it..Share your post! ;)
Hi, all. I'm Claire. Born and raised in North Carolina. Been married for close to 15 years but always felt that something was missing in my marriage. My husband and I just didn't really connect. Recently we decided it was best to seperate and try to remain friends. In the past few years I found that I had something of a fascination with threesomes. (Did I forget to mention that I'm really into erotica?) Hadn't had any threesomes in real life but it has been a fantasy for a while now. I'm particularly interested in a relationship with two men. Although polyamory is of an interest to me, I'm more interested in making a emotional connection as well as a physical connection. So while a threesome is of definite interest to me, I'm more interested in learning more about the polyamorous lifestyle. I look forward to reading more of the posts here and finding out if this is really a lifestyle that would suit me.

MonoVCPHG 02-15-2010 07:38 AM

Welcome to the Forum!

GroundedSpirit 02-15-2010 02:11 PM

Hi Claire,

Well, Triads & Vs are fairly common poly configurations so you should have lots of places to explore - here and other places.
A lot of members here seem to be, or have been, in that configuration so will probably be able to share their perspective on whatever questions come up for you.
Good Luck !


whirlingdervish 02-16-2010 08:04 PM

welcome to a new forum and a new avenue in life, hope both treat you splendidly ;)

Confused 02-16-2010 11:23 PM

Hi, I've kind of been led here by my initial interest in a threesome with a male friend of my husband and I, but for now am enjoying a renewed closer friendship with him and focusing on my husband and I in what little time we have without small children fighting for our attention. I wanted to say hi anyway. :) I've never been unhappy in my marriage but I have always had slight feelings for this man who was someone I was involved with before I met my husband.

(Oh and irl I'm also Clare :) )

justafrien 02-19-2010 08:23 AM

New and interested in getting to know more
Greetings to all:

It has been so difficult to share my story with all of you. I have been sorta like a spectator. Looking into the lifestyle, reading, and dealing with the emotional mess that comes up when my partner tells me that he wants to embrace his "poly" identity. He wants to come out of the closet. I understand him and ideally I wish I felt the same way he did. I intellectually understand that his needs are different than mine. But I am finding it difficult to deal with it especially...because we are not sexually active. He is no longer allowing me to even touch him. He just wants to sleep with another women. Any women he may be in love with. He also pointed out to me that the times he did have sez with me in 2009...he was drunk. So, I am hanging on to him...trying to understand why I am still here. Why do I continue to stay and why am I trying so hard to understand his needs but ignore my own. So I guess I am new to all of this and would love to hear from those who have experienced both sides of this lifestyle.

Just a frien

SchrodingersCat 02-19-2010 09:03 AM

Hi justafriend,

My heart really goes out to you.

If there's still love, both ways, between you and your husband, perhaps he would be willing to consider counselling to find out what has changed to cause him to feel uncomfortable in a sexual relationship with you?

If he's not willing to mend your relationship together, I don't feel that polyamory is the solution. Polyamory is never the solution to any problem between couples, it usually only makes existing problems worse. Polyamory can put a strain on the most solid, functional relationships, and asking you to watch him go out with other women while you're not having your own needs met, that's unfair to you. You deserve to treat yourself better than that!

GroundedSpirit 02-19-2010 03:52 PM


Looks like we have a couple different threads intermingled here ?
Maybe a Mod can sort them out ? (then delete this).

ImaginaryIllusion 02-19-2010 04:22 PM


Originally Posted by GroundedSpirit (Post 22541)
Looks like we have a couple different threads intermingled here ?
Maybe a Mod can sort them out ? (then delete this).

Almost did...except if you check the thread title, it invites other input. We'll carry on as is for now.

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