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-   -   Brett- St. Petersburg, Florida (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2132)

brettstaylor 02-10-2010 07:16 PM

Brett- St. Petersburg, Florida
I married at 18 and was monogamous for 35 years. Karen committed suicide in May, 2009. I have been using dating sites and have been somewhat confused because there are so many ladies I really like. I have hope that I might find help understanding my natural tendancies here.

I have told all that I am dating others, some at that point demured, a few have hinted they hope I 'pick them' soon, so I am a bit confused. I enjoy them all so much and still wish to meet more.

Vonda, Denise, Terri, Lisa, Marie, Sandy, Caroline, Iliana, Kathy, Pam, Sue, Deborah, and a few more I've emailed once or twice.

Everyone's been telling me I'm crazy but I just am having a great time, except I've got to pace myself better, getting exhausted is no fun.

I do want to be healthy myself emotionally and not just trying to avoid feeling depressed, alone. I am seeing my therapist next week, she was a big help adjusting after Karen died.

One more down side, Valentine's Day....likely to break the bank...

Any thoughts, advice, suggestions, condemanations or even flirts, or leads are welcome.

Brett Steven Taylor on Facebook
My regular email is BrettSTaylor@gmail.com

CielDuMatin 02-10-2010 08:11 PM

Welcome to the forums, Brett.

So right now it sounds like you are dating multiple - do you feel you are in a committed relationship with any of them?

What do you feel is your "ideal" - in the best of worlds, where would you like to be, relationship-wise in a year's time?

brettstaylor 02-11-2010 02:02 PM

Thanks for the reply Ciel..
I have a committment to be up front with all of them but that's it. I wish I had more time to spend with them all but as I work M-f and 2 nights a week it's hard.

A year from now? Good question, I will think about that.



Originally Posted by CielDuMatin (Post 22039)
Welcome to the forums, Brett.

So right now it sounds like you are dating multiple - do you feel you are in a committed relationship with any of them?

What do you feel is your "ideal" - in the best of worlds, where would you like to be, relationship-wise in a year's time?

GroundedSpirit 02-11-2010 03:59 PM

Welcome Brett,

Feel free to toss out any topics or questions you may have. Good, broad group of people here.
As far as a 'meeting' site, not sure you'll gain much here but sounds like you have your hands (and lap) full anyway.
Now how to deal with it ! :)


CielDuMatin 02-11-2010 04:18 PM

The question is, do you want to pick one, or do you want to see yourself going down the road of entering into full relationships with more than one at the same time, with them possibly knowing each other?

brettstaylor 02-11-2010 04:56 PM

I'm actually happy now exploring, building relationships. I like being affectionate, texting, two are now available as sexual partners, but both know that they are not the only friend I have. One has another sexual partner who has a girlfriend who does not know about her and her other boyfriend doesn't know about me....who's on first??? I understand.

Anyway, I am having fun. The biggest problem now is I told one friend about the whole poly stuff and she is freaking out. She knows I'm seeing others but hopes its just a phase, but says no matter what we will always be good friends.

I might just be enjoying my new status, single, to extremes and might settle down with one, right now, I like many women. I feel good with each one. I like holding hands, hugging, some kiss, some don't, petting with some, some not, I don't use the L word, I want to but seems like it gets misinterpreted as meaning exclusivity.

I don't know anyone who is poly, my daughter mentioned it when I commented I figured out that I must be a Mormon or something.


CielDuMatin 02-11-2010 05:34 PM

Brett, there are polyamory folk from a whole wide range of religions, plus atheists, agnostics and just about anything you can imagine.

If you are curious to read more, a guy called Franklin has some good articles at http://www.xeromag.com/fvpoly.html - gives some great background for you and your potential partners to see if it's a lovestyle that fits you.

redpepper 02-11-2010 10:04 PM

Hi Brett, thanks for the PM.
I see you are already in :D

It sounds to me like you might need to slow down and not take it all so seriously perhaps? It's quite alright to be dating a lot of women as you get over the death of your wife. I can imagine that you will need to just have some fun for a time. I would hope that you keep that in perspective and not "settle" too soon. I would think that you will know in your heart and with all your being that you are ready and wanting, needing to settle a bit more with one or more women.

For now I like that you are being open and having new experiences while keeping honest to the women that you are meeting. So much fun. I would suggest that if they are getting anxious about you seeing others or wanting you to settle for them only, and now, that you take a moment to figure out if they are just fun friends to be with intimately or if you really love them. Sometimes its not worth hanging on to those who have differing values.

As I said in my PM, please take the time to read a lot on the forums under topics that you are interested in. You will find a wide range of interesting takes on Polyamory and we are all, for the most part, willing and ready to help with any questions and situations you would like to discuss.

Welcome :)

MonoVCPHG 02-11-2010 10:46 PM

Welcome to the forums and thanks for sharing. I hope you keep us updated :)


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