Polyamory.com Forum

Polyamory.com Forum (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/index.php)
-   Introductions (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=9)
-   -   heya (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=21301)

lacunacoil 02-13-2012 06:35 PM

hey. im a young american male who recently realized i was poly.

i was already in a monogamous relationship with someone i still love dearly. polyamory was something i already very much agreed with idealogically, but i figured it probably wasn't for me personally... until one day i realized it was who i am. it was shocking, almost terrifying, because i knew i'd have to be honest and tell my partner, and i didnt know if she would understand. and yet i absolutely couldn't deny it, though i think i wanted to. i didnt know what would happen in the future at all.

a day ago, after a lot of discussion, we decided that my nature couldn't be denied, and neither could hers. she doesnt have any disdain for me, but she simply couldn't come to terms with it, and she wouldn't have me keep myself wrapped up for her, even though i said i would commit myself only to her if that's what it took. im not a slut, and in fact it took so long to realize who i really was only because i find true attraction with sooo few people and im not given to sexuality without personal intimacy. and i was used to being alone, so it was easy to think that she was all i wanted, needed... i couldnt imagine having her, let alone to love more than one person.

it hurt amazingly, and the speed and unavoidability of it was the most amazing thing of all. we were always so open and honest about everything and so connected that i thought nothing could tear us apart, but here we are. thank god that we're still close enough to love each other as dear, dear friends... but she needs a monogamous partner.

anyway, i guess that's my story. i don't know if im doing wrong in general or wrong to post in here, and my knowledge about polyamory is only from what i know of myself and some reading, but i guess it's the only introduction i have, and this is the only introduction i have for you.

hi everyone. i look forward to meeting you.

Castalia 02-13-2012 08:21 PM

Welcome to the group. Everyone here is very supportive and helpful.
Like you I am used to being alone and am attracted to very very few people, so polyamory sometimes sounds like an unusual ideal. But regardless of that, I have never felt that monogamy was right for me. Deep down I never understood or agreed with the concept for myself, even as a child.
I am sorry that your partner was not comfortable with the idea, but it is nice that you two could maintain a friendship.
By the way, love Lacuna Coil.

NovemberRain 02-21-2012 05:31 AM

Welcome to this forum. :)

That was a beautiful introduction. I hope you find some comfort in hanging out with like-minded folks here.

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