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RedNeck 02-12-2012 12:45 AM

Still Monogamus
I'm 32 old female in a long term relationship. I've read a lot on the internet about poly stuff and I think it's very interesting.

A few weeks ago I brought up the idea of opening up our relationship to my boyfriend and while he didn't get upset, he didn't really like the idea. He kept asking me why I would want to do that and complained that if we did open the relationship he wouldn't be able to find anyone.

I keep bringing it up now and then, and I try to be positive to see if perhaps he would be able to be poly. I'm trying to take my time and be understanding because I do love him and I know that if he had brought this up a couple of years ago I would have been rather close minded and upset.

Anyway Hi all
I'm sure I can ask my questions in another thread.

MonoVCPHG 02-12-2012 01:07 AM


Originally Posted by RedNeck (Post 124445)
I try to be positive to see if perhaps he would be able to be poly. .

He doesn't have to "be" poly to accept you being so. He might actually be monogamous but that doesn't mean it can't work. Wording can make all the difference when trying to open up your relationship. Some triggers can build disproportionately high walls if you don't pick your language carefully. Don't try to change him, try to get him to accept you :D

RedNeck 02-12-2012 03:52 AM

Well I think that was an unfortunate word choice on my part.

He has told me that he thinks of other girls in more than a platonic way, and I think once he gets used to the idea and believes girls will want him, he may even like it.

As far as accepting me while he stays mono. I'm not sure how that conversation would work, but I am planning on taking my time and trying to talk this out with him.

opalescent 02-12-2012 04:29 AM


It shows wisdom on your part to realize that it will take time for your partner to think about and hopefully begin to accept your ideas on the matter.

Also great username!

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