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-   -   Bisexual, Pansexual, Polysexual...is it all semantics? (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=21158)

GroundedSpirit 12-08-2009 04:44 PM

Female bisexuality
 
From another thread came the topic of female bisexuality and I thought it would be interesting to get some thoughts from the girls here.

We've seen a theory proposed in the past that basically says that a majority (maybe LARGE majority) of females are bisexual by nature (from birth).
At the time is was kind of a new insight to me but given the fact that it was voiced by another woman I found it interesting. One of the observations she offered to support it at the time was from observing the behavior of young girls in their interactions. She was an elementary school teacher. Interestingly enough she herself did NOT identify as being bisexual but knew many other women her age who did. Her observations included seeing how much physical contact commonly occurred between young girls as opposed to the boys. Holding hands, hugging, kissing etc.
But even with all that, it left me wondering how much was actually nature vs how much was it encouraged (intentionally or otherwise) by modern society.
Research I've seen seems to have wide variations in any conclusions drawn regarding bisexuality & gender although I think part of that is due to some variation in definition of "bisexuality" period.

But what do all of you (girls) feel ? If you identify with being bisexual do you feel it was always part of you - or was it more of a conditioned response ?

For the purposes of this discussion I'd like to see us adhere to a definition of "bisexuality" as
"a willingness to participate sexually with another female without reservation".
The whole other potential definition of "attraction" would require something different.

GS

Magdlyn 12-08-2009 05:06 PM

Quote:

But what do all of you (boys) feel ? If you identify with being straight do you feel it was always part of you - or was it more of a conditioned response?
fixed it for ya

AutumnalTone 12-08-2009 05:24 PM

So non-sexual behavior somehow predicts adult sexuality? That's a bit of a stretch. Boys also spend all sorts of time touching each other, engaged in wrestling and assorted horseplay. Is that supposed to indicate that every man is inherently bisexual until socialized to be gay or straight? (Yeah, lots of social pressure to be gay in our society....)

Magdlyn 12-08-2009 05:33 PM

I recently saw a vid of Osama Bin Laden being greeted by another man. Sitting on pillows on the floor, they did a triple cheek kiss, shook hands and sat there holding hands as they chatted.

oh noes! the gai! it burns!

Rarechild 12-08-2009 07:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GroundedSpirit (Post 14799)
I thought it would be interesting to get some thoughts from the girls here.

This is an 18 and over website. There are no girls on here if we're doing our job. I find it really hard to respond to the subject you are bringing up when I feel offended by a slight like this from the get-go. Do you understand what I'm saying, little boy? (for demonstration purposes only)


Quote:

We've seen a theory proposed in the past that basically says that a majority (maybe LARGE majority) of females are bisexual by nature (from birth).
Does you partner have a name or could you invent one? Or say I instead of we? I feel like you're writing for someone who obviously never writes in these posts. It's just weird, IMO.

As to your theory, I'm going to say something even more controversial- I think all humans are bisexual, and it's a matter of societal conditioning and experience that determines whether the person ever identifies with that. :)

Quote:

But what do all of you women feel?If you identify with being bisexual do you feel it was always part of you - or was it more of a conditioned response ?
I do feel it was entirely natural to me. And my first sexual experiences were during play as a child with female friends. Once I entered adulthood and came up against the abuse thrown at same-sex relationships, there was a period of time when I didn't want to think about being with women, because I was so wrapped up in the fairy tale monogamy marriage paradigm. But I'm over that now. :)

Quote:

For the purposes of this discussion I'd like to see us adhere to a definition of "bisexuality" as
"a willingness to participate sexually with another female without reservation".
Your definition confuses me. It doesn't really seem to mean anything. And I would take issue with bisexuality being defined in terms of being a lesbian. What is missing here.. oh yeah, the other gender.

NeonKaos 12-08-2009 08:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rarechild (Post 14817)
This is an 18 and over website. There are no girls on here if we're doing our job here. I find it really hard to respond to the subject you are bringing up when I feel offended by a slight like this from the get-go. Do you understand what I'm saying, little boy? (for demonstration purposes only)




Does you partner have a name or could you invent one? Or say I instead of we? I feel like you're writing for someone who obviously never writes in these posts. It's just weird, IMO.

We could start referring to Grounded Spirit as "it", "they" or some other pronoun.

But actually, I think the real reason that "girls" are turning to bisexuality is because we aren't getting enough sex from the "boys" in our lives. Don't you think so too?

redpepper 12-08-2009 09:19 PM

I haven't found bisexuality to be prevelant at all, anywhere. I'm talking for real, not the "I do it cause its cool," or "my boyfriend likes it," or "I'm curious" reasons. I'm talking, drawn to both sexes at different times depending on the person or time of sexual life.

I don't know where you got your info from GS, but I would say that both sexes have sexuality and both experience it with their peers when they are young. I see it in my son in the form of playing "hiding from the grown ups" with his friend. I don't know what he does under the comforter with his male friend, but its not just about hide and seek.

I'm thankful that different forms of sexuality are more accepted but I don't think it means that female bisexuals are more prevalent. Just more societally accepted than male bisexuality.

MonoVCPHG 12-08-2009 09:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by redpepper (Post 14822)
Just more societally accepted than male bisexuality.

That is my opinion as well. I think it has everything to do with this and very little to do with an actual imbalance between the sexes.

constlady 12-09-2009 03:04 AM

Quote:

Her observations included seeing how much physical contact commonly occurred between young girls as opposed to the boys. Holding hands, hugging, kissing etc.
What is observed is what society deems acceptable to be demonstrated in public.
It has been the case for many years that the same sort of physical affection expressed between boys is not acceptable - and they are quickly made aware of that, at a discouragingly young age.

Like redpepper, I don't see truly bisexual females as being any more prevalent where I live and experience.
What I do see (even in the little slice of conservative red in a blue state where I happen to reside) is more willingness by those whose sexual orientation is not purely hetero to acknowledge that fact, openly.
Matter of factly even, because the way society views sexual orientation is changing and I give great thanks to the LGBT rights movement for paving the way for that.

Quath 12-09-2009 03:33 AM

Most women I have dated were bisexual or at least said they wanted to be with another woman. So that is my personal anecdotal data.

From studies, I lean more to the idea that men and women fall somewhere on the bisexual scale. I think a big difference is that society is more encouraging of women being with women than with men being with men. So they don't feel as much pressure to act more heterosexual than men do. Plus it seems to be a fad for two women to make out to turn guys on. (While I would like to believe they want each other, I think many cases are just to tease guys.)

Maybe when society becomes less male homophobic, we will see more bisexual men pubically. I have a gut feeling that basic bisexuality is probably equal in both genders.


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