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-   -   OPP/OVP thoughts? (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=21076)

veronique 02-08-2012 12:42 AM

OPP/OVP thoughts?
My partner and I have been discussing polyamory lately. I was wondering if anyone could shed some light on policies limiting partners to same-sex dating outside the relationship - for both partners, not just the female. Has anyone tried this that can comment?

I searched the tags for OPP, but very few threads came back, and none seeming to address the issue of a same-sex dating policy. If someone knows of a better search for me to run, please share.

Magdlyn 02-08-2012 01:04 AM


veronique 02-08-2012 02:55 PM

Yes, I read this thread. It strikes me as primarily a very heated discussion on the term OPP and its connotations. The thread is part of why I titled my post OPP/OVP but tried to use the less loaded "same-sex policy" (SSP?) in my post. I would especially like input from anyone who mutually agreed to limit outside relationships to same-sex interactions. I got the impression from AnnabelMore and others that those kinds of agreements, especially at the start of opening a relationship up, are not unheard of. What I haven't read is how those agreements worked out, what made them difficult/eventually unworkable, etc. My situation is not one where a threatened male partner is demanding an OPP.

Hope that provides some clarification!

Magdlyn 02-08-2012 03:07 PM

Oh, so is it that you are not comfortable with your male partner having another woman then?

You will see us rail at the inherent sexism in OPPs. Like males are somehow so desirable and have "what women want/need" ie: a penis. And of course if the woman dates another woman, that woman isn't threatening because of her lack of penis! Try telling that to lesbians. Some girls have cocks (transwomen), and some buy and use them (dildos or strapons). And of course, there are always nice strong fingers for penetration, or even fists.

So, that's been covered. Are you leery of another female partner for your male primary? Why?

Sonic 02-08-2012 03:16 PM

I don't know if other people's feelings can be policed like that?

I for one usually end up dating transgender people even though I thought I was going to look for ladies. And that's great, it's just how life is, it never turns out as planned.

nycindie 02-08-2012 03:20 PM

I think we need a tad more information from you about your situation. It's just a little too vague. Rather than just asking "how have your OPPs and OVPs worked out for you?" is there some issue relating to such a policy that you are struggling with or need more information on? Why are you and your partner considering this as a way to go?

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