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-   -   Is This Considered Polyamory? (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2087)

luv4all 01-31-2010 12:35 AM

Is This Considered Polyamory?
 
As far as I know, polyamory is the act of having an open relationship with more than one person.

That said, if I'm seeing 2 straight guys at the same time and both guys are seeing other women (who I'm not seeing because I'm straight) can I say I'm polyamorous?

Because online dictionaries and wikipedia makes polyamory sound a lot like an orgy when I don't think that's what it is. I think open relationships describe polyamory well, sort of like I have the rights to love and be intimate with more than one person, and everyone I'm involved with have the same rights.

But I don't necessarily have to be involved with everyone that they're involved with.

Am I getting the whole polyamory thing correct?

Thanks.

CielDuMatin 01-31-2010 01:01 AM

Polyamory is usually defined as loving more than one person. You are loving more than one. Sounds pretty close to me. ;) The rest is details.

Welcome!

Ravenesque 01-31-2010 01:13 AM

You're asking a question that others could only ever give their opinion based on how they chose to shape polyamory in their lives. These would in no way signify whether you are getting the whole polyamory thing correct for you and your life or whether you can call yourself polyamorous. That is a personal decision.

While others' experiences may give you insight as to how you might practice polyamory, in the end you must form your opinion of what polyamory is for you based on your own research and personal preferences.

There are poly and non-monogamous resources which may be helpful to you in developing what polyamory will be in your life. They've been mentioned here in various places. Among many many other online resources, a good place to start is Polyamory.org. I'm sure others will be highlighted as well

~Raven~

NeonKaos 01-31-2010 02:44 PM

One suggestion is that you read some of what has already been written on this forum and that might help give some insight into questions you might already have - questions that have been asked and answered repeatedly.

There is the "Golden Nuggets" section:

http://www.polyamory.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=26

and the "Glossary and Definitions" section:

http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1720

for starters.

GroundedSpirit 01-31-2010 02:48 PM

Hi Luv4All,

I'd just comment this way.
There are a lot of terms interchanged for alluding to non-monogamous or open relationships.
There's been endless debates about what a definition of 'polyamory' really is and probably there always will be. You can find a few on here to help you better understand the quandary.
The problem basically comes down to a lack of a definition of love - the 'amory' part.
So I find it helpful to understand and explain to others that if you want to make some distinction - or quasi-definition of polyamory, you key in on the concept that you are in multiple relationships and that there's more depth, a deeper connection to those relationships.
This only contrasts with what are often early 'dating' type relationships or the many forms of sexual openness where there is limited desire or time for any deeper connection and the focus may be simply more of a sexual nature. There's a sliding scale it seems on when that 'depth' slides over to the 'love' phase.
Hope that helps.

GS

DrunkenPorcupine 02-02-2010 09:38 PM

Polyamory is not about sex. You can have sex with people you don't love and you can love people you don't have sex with.

Poly is about the love of many or multiple people. For me, it also has connotations about the possibilties within relationships, but that's more about my personal journey than about the term itself.

A person is polyamorous. A single, celebate person can be polyamorous.

amaranth 02-09-2010 10:02 AM

yes - there's no "one right way" to do it, and certainly everyone in your group/circle/extended poly family (whatever term you use) doesn't have to be dating everyone else!!

if you're happy, then enjoy :)

polytriad 02-12-2010 09:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by luv4all (Post 21368)
As far as I know, polyamory is the act of having an open relationship with more than one person.

That said, if I'm seeing 2 straight guys at the same time and both guys are seeing other women (who I'm not seeing because I'm straight) can I say I'm polyamorous?

Because online dictionaries and wikipedia makes polyamory sound a lot like an orgy when I don't think that's what it is. I think open relationships describe polyamory well, sort of like I have the rights to love and be intimate with more than one person, and everyone I'm involved with have the same rights.

But I don't necessarily have to be involved with everyone that they're involved with.

Am I getting the whole polyamory thing correct?

Thanks.


what people fail to understand is that polyamorious is very broad. It can not be put in a box. Because there are so many different poly relationship types its difficult say "am I poly" when the term of "open relationship" is used I consider that to be a "type" of poly. You and your partners can tweek terms and conditions of your relationship and as long as love communication and honesty are being shared then poly is the lifestyle you are in. Its the type that is more defined.


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