Polyamory.com Forum

Polyamory.com Forum (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/index.php)
-   Introductions (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=9)
-   -   Um... Hi, from Illinois (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=20727)

Garblin 01-30-2012 01:50 AM

Um... Hi, from Illinois
 
I'm a 22 year old physically male (I consider myself psychologically gender-less) primarily attracted to women, though men do strike my fancy occasionally though I've never gotten a chance to act on that...

I have next to no actual experience with polyamory, partly because I'm only recently opened up to the idea, and partly because I don't know how to go about finding people who I'm attracted to and are okay with the idea. Also, I accidentally found myself in a situation where I have three separate women who like me right now, and I'd much rather honestly date all three of them (with them being fully aware, assuming they are okay with it) than be forced to pick one because society says that's the right thing to do.

Still, monogamy hasn't worked for me, I think primarily because I'm self aware enough to know that one person can't fulfill all my needs unless there's some sort of magical force in the universe which managed to create a perfect match (yea, right). So when I'm just with one person, I can appreciate what they do fulfill for me, but I'm still aware of the things I want which they cannot provide, but which according to society I'm just supposed to get along without as the compromise for the sake of the relationship.

Anyway... probably a bit long for an intro, and I feel like I'm leaving lots of stuff out, but such are things.

ThatGirlInGray 01-30-2012 02:34 AM

Hi Garblin, welcome!

You said:
Quote:

I don't know how to go about finding people who I'm attracted to and are okay with the idea.
and then you said:
Quote:

I accidentally found myself in a situation where I have three separate women who like me right now
It sounds to me like you're halfway there! You can't know who will and won't be okay with it until you ask. If you're still in the "Getting To Know You" stage you could bring up a hypothetical situation ("I know someone who dated more than one person at a time..."), or if you're already fairly close you could go straight to, "I really like you and I want to date you, but there are two other people I also want to date at the moment. How would you feel about that?"

Since monogamy hasn't worked for you, makes sense to be honest about what you think might work, right? Good luck!

Garblin 01-30-2012 03:04 AM

That's basically what I'm trying to do at the moment, and I'm hoping it works out well. Thanks for the good luck bit, any suggestions for how to go about explaining?


All times are GMT. The time now is 03:41 PM.