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-   -   They think we're sisters... (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2064)

Lemondrop 01-29-2010 01:04 AM

They think we're sisters...
 
So, my female partner (sorry, she's not on the forum and I can't come up with a cute name for her yet) and I apparently look alike in some way. We frequently get asked if we're sisters--at the Y, in the stores, by our children's teachers. It's not really a big deal, but I find it creepy, and I always feel awkward after I say no, like there's more explanation required. My partner says it's just because we're very familiar with each other and people are trying to find an explanation that fits.

What do you think? What would you say when this happens? Would you just shrug it off? Would you feel creepy?

Ariakas 01-29-2010 01:30 AM

It happened with our ex and my wife. They have a TONNE in common, tended to dress very similar. People always tried to attach the "what" to the two of them.

Sorry in my case, it was one of the things that made her uncomfortable. She felt a very sisterly bond to my wife and has broken off the sexual side of the relationship. It was a piece of the discomfort. My wife did not feel the same "creepiness", but it only takes one side to get creeped out :)

What did I say?...I was vetoed in this case, I was more than willing to be open and tell them...my gf was not...and my wife backed my gf. So I just kept my mouth shut and smiled.

LovingRadiance 01-29-2010 01:51 AM

Green gecko and I get that (he's not my sister obviously and doens't look it) but people ask if he's my brother, especially because he does a lot of activities with the kids (like scouts).
I just look at them, laugh and say no. Then carry on usually.

It really depends on if you want to be "outed" as a couple or not. Generally GG and Maca prefer we NOT do that, but there are some people I just don't care, and I say 'uh no, he's my bf."

indigo 01-29-2010 04:04 AM

Ha! It's been a while since I've been in a relationship with a woman and I had completely forgotten this aspect but yes, people were ALWAYS asking my gf's and I if we were sisters and we looked absolutely nothing alike. It seemed like a way to ask if we were lesbians without being so direct.

GroundedSpirit 01-29-2010 03:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lemondrop (Post 21244)
So, my female partner (sorry, she's not on the forum and I can't come up with a cute name for her yet) and I apparently look alike in some way. We frequently get asked if we're sisters--at the Y, in the stores, by our children's teachers. It's not really a big deal, but I find it creepy, and I always feel awkward after I say no, like there's more explanation required. My partner says it's just because we're very familiar with each other and people are trying to find an explanation that fits.

What do you think? What would you say when this happens? Would you just shrug it off? Would you feel creepy?

Hmmmmmm,
How about......
"Naw, but because our kids are the same ages we seem to be ending up a lot in the same places and being good friends. Maybe we are 'rubbing off' on each other?"
Then grin and walk away :)

GS

Faery 01-29-2010 06:29 PM

I get the orther side... we look nothing alike but Cosmicgirl's mum will always say I'm her daughter if people ask who don't know us!

Lemondrop 01-29-2010 06:39 PM

It's actually comforting to me that this happens to other people, and seems to bear out my gf's theory. I'll just keep smiling and saying no, and ignore the awkward silence afterward. Most of the time when further explanation seems necessary, I say, "I'm a close family friend". Until I think of a better solution! :D

quila 01-31-2010 10:06 PM

My best friend and I were always mistaken for sisters. We look nothing alike. I guess I would be "motherly" with her son, and maybe that made me look like his aunt, which would make me her sister. But I think whenever you spend enough time with someone, or if you share a close bond, you tend to adopt some of the same mannerisms, the same way siblings do because they grew up together.

It never made us uncomfortable, and we just said "nope" and left it at that. We never felt a need to explain. I think people are just asking out of curiosity or as an ice breaker to strike up conversation with two beautiful women :D


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