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-   -   Hello, y'all! (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=20599)

JohnnyDangerously 01-27-2012 01:23 AM

Hello, y'all!
It's a new world! I am a MWM who has been in a monogamous marriage for 18 years; it has been a struggle. I have never felt completely fulfilled and always enjoyed interacting with women online and occasionally otherwise. I have always loved my wife, and struggled with reconciling that with my desires to stray. It has always been a pursuit in addition to, not in place of. We finally talked enough to agree to try an open marriage... I have been chatting with a new FB profile and have made a couple of serious on-line relationships... one intensely so. About the same time, I stumbled across a polyamory site and have been fascinated since! It was such an amazing feeling to see and read stories and ideas I totally felt and could relate to, despite what decades of society's teachings have pounded into me...

Now I am dealing with the issues of keeping my wife secure and adding another wonderful woman and her kids to our family AND coming out - to whom, when, how...so many issues created by the monogomites making all the rules...

FelixTheCat 01-27-2012 04:53 AM

Um, wow. Are you sure that you are not actually a twin I didn't know about? I don't think I've had any bad run-ins with a Xerox machine... :)

All kidding aside, your experiences do sound quite a bit like mine. My wife and I haven't gotten to the agreement part yet, but we're still talking. However, I did just have a potential outside relationship end before it could really get started. Fortunately, my wife saw that it would be a Bad Thing to get involved with this lady before I did and didn't give me the "I told you so" thing when I finally came around. Did I mention that I love my wife a lot?

In the meantime, good luck with the new relationship! I'll be curious to see how you manage to wend your way through all of the issues and pitfalls. I just know that someday I'll have the same problems :).


Felix The Cat

JohnnyDangerously 01-28-2012 10:43 PM

LOL! Well hello then, brother! :p

I am amazed at how significant such a simple revelation can be - that the idea that has been pounded into most of us for as long as we've been alive -- that a person can only romantically love a single person at a time -- is a bold-faced lie. Some people MAY only be capable of such, and I guess they wound up writing the rules to restrict those whom they feared.

I love my wife. I love both of my girlfriends. There are different connections and I find them all beautiful and wonderful and fascinating each in there own ways and for their own reasons. And for the first time in my life, I can text and message them all in the same day and not feel some sort of guilt for telling each of them I love them and miss them...

So simple, and yet so huge...

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