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-   -   Poly Map (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=20563)

Scott 01-25-2012 08:23 PM

Poly Map
 
I actually started talking about Franklin Voisseau's Poly Map in another thread, kind of as an aside, but it seems that that's the part of my post that got people's attention, so I'm creating a thread for it here. Here's Franklin's Poly Map:
http://www.obsidianfields.com/lj/nonmonogamy2.5.1.gif

And here's where some people have already commented on it:
http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?p=121976

It got some mixed reviews. But I think we shouldn't dump the baby out with the bathwater; if there's some parts that aren't that great or some parts that are missing, I think we could make a better one right here :-)

Scott 01-25-2012 08:26 PM

Replying to a message from the thread that I originally brought the Poly Map up in...

Quote:

Originally Posted by SourGirl (Post 121935)
I find that chart mildly offensive. Then again, I find many of Franklins' points lacking.

Could you be more specific? Maybe we could make a better chart.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SourGirl (Post 121935)
According to this chart anyone 'like me' is wandering around in some abyss, that does not exist.

Well, Franklin's updated the chart more then once; I think it could be said that it's a work in progress...

Quote:

Originally Posted by SourGirl (Post 121935)
It also has a vibe of 'If it ain`t poly, it`s crap !'

Why you think that?

SourGirl 01-25-2012 09:49 PM

Most of the answers to your questions, can be found in the reply I have to Phy in the original thread. We were musing. Though I`m sure many will be interested in this being its own thread too. That part ( the chart.) of your response was singled out, much like 99% of posts have one aspect that gets another user`s attention. Itas just how it works.

Might have something to do with the big-ass chart taking up most of my screen too. A little hard to ignore. :)

Scott 01-25-2012 11:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SourGirl (Post 121988)
Most of the answers to your questions, can be found in the reply I have to Phy in the original thread. We were musing.

Ok.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SourGirl (Post 121988)
Though I`m sure many will be interested in this being its own thread too. That part ( the chart.) of your response was singled out, much like 99% of posts have one aspect that gets another user`s attention. Itas just how it works.

Might have something to do with the big-ass chart taking up most of my screen too. A little hard to ignore. :)

Lol, true :-)

Scott 01-25-2012 11:47 PM

Responding to SourGirl's post in the other thread...

Quote:

Originally Posted by SourGirl (Post 121982)
I definitely see the attempt at humour, but maybe I am a little jaded on the amount of people who promote his version like the bible. ;) So I admittedly roll my eyes a bit. :rolleyes:

Laugh :-)

Quote:

Originally Posted by SourGirl (Post 121982)
It all starts feeling cult-like sometimes, watching people with their one-true-franklin-way.

Let's make our own cult! :D Seriously, how hard could it be to do a few modifications of that chart?

Quote:

Originally Posted by SourGirl (Post 121982)
Which really isn`t his fault. He`s just another bloke, with an opinion. He went to the extensive trouble, of creating an in-depth site and opinion,....which I think, is what people find satisfaction in.

Yeah, I think it's a good starting point. I love editing actually. I'm not sure if I'd do a good job editing a graphic, but editing text has always been something I've liked doing (you may notice that a lot of my posts end up edited :-p).

Quote:

Originally Posted by SourGirl (Post 121982)
Like most things, not all people and all situations can be accounted for. My response is based on the fact that my experiences has led me to realize, most people feel 'pushed' to chose either being poly, or being a swinger. The reality usually is, that most people either land 'in the middle' or find things to be situation specific to the people involved.
I`ve read all the arguments for years, over how we are either like some horny monkey, or some loin-cloth breeder-tribe. :rolleyes: I agree with neither.

Lol :-). Your reasoning reminds me of this song:
La Roux - Tigerlily

Quote:

Originally Posted by SourGirl (Post 121982)
Environment tends to dictate our reactions. If you cage/corral any animal, ( forced monogamy being our default cage ) and one day show them the door/gate is open,..most are going to run through it, and a few might hold back in fear. Eventually, those that held back, sniff around and make decisions, and those who ran through the gate, ...well many of them realize the pasture wasn`t any greener, it just offered different scenery. Some realize they are monogamous. Some realize they want to hang out around the gate,;) Others feel full-blown poly pride. It`s actualy quite divided.

Makes sense. I started yearning for my friend to be poly (he had a girlfriend, I wanted some -.-), but I truly became poly when I found that I loved 2 sisters and I didn't want to choose between them.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SourGirl (Post 121982)
So, seeing that happen with people on a regular basis, I ask myself, how is the chart not flawed ? If he has 'open' labelled for people who fuck, but dont have feelings,.. Then where is the umbrella portion, of non-monogamy ? Shouldn`t the whole thing be enveloped in a large circle that says non-monogamy, at the least ? Then you could at least fit your situation in there:

" All you complicated folks go here-----> X"

You go girl :-)! Like the above song says...

"I can see you burning with desire For a kiss
Psychobabble all upon your lips".

I like, laugh :-). I admit I'm not really sure what you're saying. It's hard for me to think of a graphic without looking at it, and I'm looking at what you wrote :-p. Ideally, we could all get together in real space and make a new map, but alas, we're probably thousands of miles apart or something. Anyway, maybe one day I'll try to edit that map.. yep.. any day now, laugh :-).

Quote:

Originally Posted by SourGirl (Post 121982)
I`d say it doesn`t because much like his other supposed tongue-n-cheek stuff,...the humour is boiled in his own truths.

The humour is boiled in his own truths.. again.. not sure what you mean by that ;-).

Quote:

Originally Posted by SourGirl (Post 121982)
This was not a rant at you Phy, just me babbling about something I have long wondered. :D

OMG, you even said babble, ha ha ha ha :-). Sorry.. psychobabble.. babble.. don't mind me.. I'll be going now ;)

Scott 01-25-2012 11:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SourGirl (Post 121983)
Quote:

Originally Posted by Scott (Post 121976)
So did I, laugh :-). Ok, maybe [the chart can be] mildly offensive... I have a feeling that I might not see this so much because I'm a guy. But we could make our own chart.

I`m looking forward to this explanation. :)

I sense a trap :cool: Honestly, I'm not sure.. like I said, it was a feeling. Feel free to come up with theories though ;-).

Phy 01-26-2012 05:17 AM

Ok, as you want to modify the chart. When I first saw it, I naturally searched for the spot I would feel most comfortable being located. And there was no cross-mark. It should be in the Poly/Mono Relationships overlapping with Polyamorous Relationships. I am not that great with texts, but something like:

"I don't care how many my wife loves as long as she still loves me. Btw, did I introduce her boyfriend to you? Great guy!"

Edit: Only for the positive side of things obviously :rolleyes: one could portrait the common strugle as well.

redpepper 01-26-2012 05:36 AM

If your are referring to another thread could you please give a link so that people know which thread you are talking about? Thanks.

I have seen this chart on here somewhere before. Hanged if I can remember the tag for it though.

SchrodingersCat 01-26-2012 05:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phy (Post 122073)
Ok, as you want to modify the chart. When I first saw it, I naturally searched for the spot I would feel most comfortable being located. And there was no cross-mark. It should be in the Poly/Mono Relationships overlapping with Polyamorous Relationships. I am not that great with texts, but something like:

"I don't care how many my wife loves as long as she still loves me. Btw, did I introduce her boyfriend to you? Great guy!"

Edit: Only for the positive side of things obviously :rolleyes: one could portrait the common strugle as well.

Yep, this is pretty much my issue with it. All of the "polyamorous relationships" block overlaps with something else... And that wouldn't be a problem except for the fact that the entry that's only in "open relationship"'s refers to "it's just sex" so I don't see where my relationship style fits in there. Perhaps that "open relationships" box is meant to include romance, but then why not put the "we can have sex with other people as long as there's no love" into the swinging section.

I assume it intends to label me [[see sig for my opinion on labels]] as polyfidelitous, only I'm not. Because, as I understand it, that refers to closed triads etc.

And then there's all the confusing spots. Like... "I'm a pro domme" being inside the "polyamorous relationships" box. Last time I checked, hiring a professional anything automatically makes it not a romantic relationship. I've actually got a couple friends who are pro dommes, and they have very strict policies about no contact with their clients outside of their sessions/negotiations.

And so on.

Basically, it's an amusing cartoon, it might help clarify things for some people, but I think it's much more likely to muddle things up for most people.

Tonberry 01-26-2012 08:55 AM

I'm not sure how you managed to get his name wrong when it's on the image itself :P
And I would prefer an image that didn't stretch out of my screen. Anyway to have a thumbnail there instead?

Other than that, I like the chart. I find it complete, I'm wondering what's the situation of all the people who feel it doesn't account for them?

Actually, I would say it has too many options. Like, lots of BDSM stuff that I feel doesn't really have much to do with polyamory (BDSM isn't part of your relationship orientation, it's something different altogether). I feel like it's like he had a different section for people who like oral sex more than intercourse, of something. Nothing to do with how many partners you have.

Same thing with con sex, I'm not sure why it matters where you meet your partners, or why a con would be so different from, say, a bar.

I would simplify the chart a whole lot, really. I usually link to it only when I'm trying to show that there are lots of ways to live nonmonogamously, and not just one.


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