Polyamory.com Forum

Polyamory.com Forum (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/index.php)
-   General Poly Discussions (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=2)
-   -   Girl Talk Please!!! (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2020)

Ilove2men 01-22-2010 01:53 AM

Girl Talk Please!!!
Okay, so we haven't "come out" and I have no one I can talk to because of it.
After months of prepping my friend and I are going on our first official date this weekend. It's out of state so I will have to spend the night. My fiance hasn't dropped the boundary of sex yet so I have been thinking on plenty to do outside of his house. The last thing on our list is drinks with a friend of his who apparently is too scared to find himself a date and asked if my friend would do the honors.

So he had an idea of who he was going to invite, but she was busy so he went with plan B, a co worker. So my friend is telling me that he told her something along the lines of, "we see each other everyday, blah blah blah, I think its time I get to know you better, and my friend is coming in from Louisiana and some of us are going out and I think you should come."

Girls, what does that sound like to you? (she said yes btw) To ME, (if I was her) I would think that I just got asked out on a date with someone. I understand we are doing poly I do and I'm working on my issues of either of my men dating others. It's hard to at the moment to not freak out at the thought of either of them finding someone, 1) I'm working on my own insecurities, 2) we are still in the early stages of something that is hopefully life long and it takes up all of our time and 3) I feel that we need to get on more solid ground before we start adding more into the mix.

But all issues aside, I've been waiting for this day since SEPTEMBER and it's really important. I haven't been on a first date in seven years and I already have the normal jitters, and worrying about making sure I'm checking in on how my fiance is doing, but not worrying to much about him (his words) so that I can actually enjoy the date. I didn't think I would have to add a girl (a CO WORKER that he will have to see day after day after day) that possibly thinks he is interested in her in a way that he isn't on OUR FIRST DATE.

He doesn't think that "sounds" like asking someone on a first date and I might just be having a mix of first date jitters, insecurities, and PMS (yay first date and Aunt Flo is joining us) I don't freaking know atm, and I won't know until Saturday night until I see either a carefree look on the girl's face or confusion and embarrassment followed by awkward silence.

So now i'm stressed.... should I be stressed? I feel very silly atm and I need an opinion on if I should even be concerned about this or not. I want to have a wonderful first date, I don't want to be worried about his co worker's feelings. (selfish much?:rolleyes:)

Okay, now that I've gotten my little rant out. I'm going to have a little drink and paint my nails and think happy thoughts about our date. I'll come back in a little and hopefully have some nice input.

Go easy on me girls. I am pmsing, and I get very sensitive when I am (my poor poor guys). So if I'm being stupid, immature, or over reacting.... could you please find a sweet compassionate way of telling me to get over myself. hehe Thanks :o

Ilove2men 01-22-2010 01:56 AM

Also, just wanted to say about my issues with them dating others, they currently don't "want" to see anyone else, but we do have talks about such things taking place. I don't want anyone thinking I'm being controlling or having a double standard.

I just kinda blurted that out in the middle of my hissy fit.:o

sisterinlove 01-22-2010 02:24 AM

Sigh. I understand being oversensitive at that time. I get that way too. :-)

unfortunately, if that is the way he worded it to her, she may well be expecting this to be a date with him, not a set up with his friend. Sometimes (and I DO NOT mean ALL guys here :-P ) some guys can say something like that and not realize how it will be taken by the woman in question.

Deep breaths and good luck.

LovingRadiance 01-22-2010 02:52 AM

I third that!! I have ridiculous insecurity issues one week a month.
Had to train my men not to hit me with suprises (good or bad) during that week!!!

budKEP 01-22-2010 03:04 AM

promise, i will very nicely clear it up with her.

Ilove2men 01-22-2010 03:11 AM

Thank you, lovey. And thank you girls for understanding! I thought I was the only one with extreme sensitivity during "that time" Why oh why did it have to come early. I guess it's better than coming late. teehee

All times are GMT. The time now is 07:15 AM.