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-   -   Polly in New Zealand (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=20141)

Polly 01-16-2012 06:41 AM

Polly in New Zealand
I'm Polly...
This is the first time that I have started a thread here.
Anyway I'm interested in chatting to people who are presently in a Tri or V mono relationship, where the women are bi and the guy is straight.
In particular how it was for the women in the relationship.

I was part of a poly relationship a few years ago, which didn't work out because they were looking for a V whereas I was only interested in a Tri.
They decided to try a Tri relationship but obviously thats why it didn't work out.

I believe that she was in love with the idea in her head, but not her heart despite having her own poly blog and writing extensively in places like this.

I am now in a relationship with a guy who is happy for me to have a female friend who is either intimate with just me or the intimacy being with all three of us.

Smiles Polly

Btw Polly was my given name at birth & so is on my birth cert. Amazing ah! lol

NovemberRain 01-16-2012 07:26 AM

Hi Polly, welcome :)

I'm pretty new here myself. I'm in an emotional triad, a sexual vee with two mono men (at least, so far they are). I'm bisexual, but no other women. :D

Polly 01-16-2012 07:35 AM

Hi NovemberRain
Thank you for the welcome and for sharing.

Please excuse my ignorance but... When you say "...an emotional triad..." by that do you mean that it is all emotion and no sex? And with the two mono men, are they both straight?
It sounds a little complicated.

Phy 01-16-2012 07:38 AM


my situation is the same, in a mono/poly vee relationship with two straight men, bi but no other woman. How many of us are out there? :D Never mind, if you are interested in some of our experiences with this kind of relationship feel free to read my blog. I tried to keep track with what happened to us. (see signature)

Polly 01-16-2012 07:40 AM

Hi Phy
Sounds like you are living the fantasy of many straight woman.
Thanks for putting my on to your blog, I will have a look shortly.

NovemberRain 01-16-2012 07:46 AM

It actually feels a bit simple, to me. I worry. :eek:

I have the full story in the life stories/blogs section thing.

I met First boyfriend (bf) at mensa, many years ago now. We developed into a nice relationship. He hired Current bf to work for him (I remember him telling me about the hiring interview). First bf eventually became very good friends with Current bf. Current bf would often come to First bf's apartment and we would all eat and drink and play board games together. The three of us became very good friends. Eventually, First bf and I broke up, and Current bf did a lot of consoling to both of us. I started dating Current bf. Eventually, we all became good friends again. Over the years, Current bf has talked about me having sex or whatever with First bf. Talked about 'sharing' me. In December, First bf said he'd 'never gotten over me' among other things. So I had a real conversation about actually sharing me. And here I am, with two boyfriends. :D

They're both straight, but they love each other very much. I don't think either of them has any desire to have sex with each other, nor together with me. I'm pretty certain of that; and I believe they're pretty certain of that. So, that's why it's an emotional triad, we all love each other; and a sexual vee.

I think they're both mono too, but I'm not as certain about that. I know that they don't have all that much time for ME, I'm not sure how they'd have another girlfriend.

Polly 01-16-2012 08:05 AM

Your story is a beautiful story.
And wonderful for you that you have two men that obviously love you deeply and they love each other as well.
I was surprised to read "I think they're both mono too, but I'm not as certain about that."
I would want to know.

NovemberRain 01-16-2012 08:22 AM

I am certain of their commitment to me. I just mean I would be very surprised if they came to me and said they wanted to see someone else. It's not beyond the realm of possibility that they could do so, but it would be a surprise.

When I was younger it was not my fantasy at all. When I was younger, I couldn't imagine (and I tried) how one woman would be enough for two men. When I was younger, all the men I had ever known had desires much higher than mine. I would have been worn out trying to accommodate two of them. My men are not driven by sex in the least.

Polly 01-16-2012 08:48 AM

In this day and age I would be surprised if many people would be able to settle down for life, without wanting more than just one partner. I mean in the traditional way, one after the other; more than by the poly way of things.

f the two men you are with aren't driven by sex, then that could explain why you are enough for them both.

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