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poiesisHagakure 01-20-2010 07:34 AM

living is dancing
 
Hi. I'm known as pre. I am single. I was raised religious yet also raised to question definitions. I'm philosophical. I believe we all are. Whether or not you can articulate what your life philosophies are, you and I both have very definite rules, morals, etc. that we live life by. Whether we articulate it is not necessary ... but articulating it, conceptualizing it, allows us to take more active control of our own lives.

I hope I don't seem overbearing. My heart is brimming. I live a relatively solitary life after the raucous excitement of college. My eye is always trained on the sight of beauty, where ever it may be, how ever it may present itself. People are beautiful.

I have not been in any polyamorous relationships but I am confident that I am polyamorous. Monogamy is jealousy, is a claim of exclusivity on someone's mind, on someone's ability to feel compassion.... no such thing as compassion should be limited or controlled. I love many different people.

As I concurrently studied buddhist notions and read about polyamory for the past year, I feel there was a strangely pertinent line of thought that tied the two together. In rejecting samsara, and in espousing non-attachment, how can monogamy co-exist? The perils of monogamy are nothing but samsaric attachment. In polyamory it is possible to love, and let love, with no unhealthy attachments to the process of loving, no necessary aspects of control over your lover, etc. etc.

I love life. I love philosophy. I am really glad I searched polyamory and forums and found this site! feel free to contact me. Also, I'm in the upstate ny area.

namaste.

MrSteve 01-21-2010 02:54 PM

Welcome to the forum.

I was hanging out on a physics website for a long time and stuck in many ways. There were just things that appeared impossible to fit into logic - inherent paradoxes in experience that defied precise description.

I spent a lot of time arguing with people who were well educated, but in many ways narrow minded (in my opinion at least).

I finally left that site in frustration (there were a few people that did see some similar things but much of the forum was just childish heckling) and went to another physics site where I had some rather life changing views presented and as I read your post, a lot of what you're saying is almost like reading a post I might have written myself :)

I'm in a bit of a rush and can't post much, but I enjoyed seeing your post and can relate to most everything in it, though you could still have a non-possessive monogamous relationship between people that simply didn't find something with anyone else, but yes a lot of (most?) monogamous relationships appear to be possessive, restrictive and not very much representative of a more ideal caring, loving relationship.

Oh, and just yesterday I was talking with someone about how a more ideal lifestyle is much like a dance also :) .... the "problem" is that you can't really teach or predict all the dance steps, you've got to be open to learning new dance steps on occasion and try to keep things in balance.

Have fun

MonoVCPHG 01-21-2010 03:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poiesisHagakure (Post 20489)
Monogamy is jealousy, is a claim of exclusivity on someone's mind, on someone's ability to feel compassion

Debating on responding to this or just assuming you are all NRE over poly. Blanket statements are tricky on here and certainly ones that paint people a certain way. When you do find yourself in a poly realtionship I hope you share that journey with us.

Welcome to the forum
Take care
Mono

CielDuMatin 01-21-2010 04:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poiesisHagakure (Post 20489)
Monogamy is jealousy, is a claim of exclusivity on someone's mind, on someone's ability to feel compassion.... no such thing as compassion should be limited or controlled.

This may well have been your experience of monogamy and if so, I'm sorry you got to that point. For some, the idea of committing themselves to one person is attractive, workable and I believe a legitimate relationship choice. I don't feel that it automatically follows that it is possessiveness or in any way limited. (for the record, I am not monogamous myself, but know several couples who do monogamy as well as most do poly, in my opinion).

It's only when you want out - when you want something different, that you feel confined and restricted.

The analogy I use is of a dog - I have had dogs around me all my life and there is one well-known fact that I have observed myself - you can have a container to hold the dog, be it a crate or a cage - you can put blankets in it and make it comfortable and the dog will love going in there and sleeping. But as soon as you close the door it won't sleep or rest but bark and bark until let out.

So it's not that the cage is uncomfortable, it about whether it is choice or not to be there that make the place nice or nasty.


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