||01-12-2012 01:56 AM
I think i am poly...but i am already married
So heres the deal: I have been with my husband for 3 years. dating for even longer. We have a daughter together. Don't get me wrong, i love my husband and i don't want to "break up" with him or anything, but i am not happy. I think i might be polyamorous because its the only explanation i have found that fits the way i feel.
Now my husband has been so insanely jealous even to the point where i was forced to drive away all my friends just to keep him from leaving. When we first started dating my best friend was a guy. My husband was insanely jealous of him and i ended up severing a good relationship for him. And thats not the only time. If i even show the slightest amount of attraction to someone else he flips out, accuses me of cheating...blah blah. Anyways.
I recently made a lady friend that he has a crush on. He likes her ALOT. Ever since she came into our lives He started working out, doing his hair, wearing cologne whenever hes around her, dressing nicer, texting her all the time.... And to be honest it doesnt bother me! He goes to church with her (i am pagan and he is a christian- but he is questioning his beliefs lately)
I talked to him about it and told him that i don't mind if he develops a relationship with her (or another girl), just as long as he is honest and open with me. And he agreed. He thought i was trying to trick him or something at first, but i mean really...i honestly don't mind if he has a girlfriend just as long as he doesnt run off and leave me for her. I am willing to share! He had his doubts about my claim but i have kept telling him and i think its starting to sink in. The wierd thing is is that it doesnt make me jealous when he is with her or texting her or anything, i am happy for him.
So far nothing much has happened between him and this girl (at least physically). I mean i can tell they are growing closer and she trusts him and likes being with him but to be honest its probably because hes married and she doesnt want to make him a cheater or something...we havent talked to her about it.
But what about me? Should i just suffer in silence to avoid a potentially messy confrontation or should i talk to him about my real feelings? What if he can't accept that part of me? Should i wait? I just don't know what to do....any advice would be welcome.
edit: Also, when we were dating we had talked about possibly having another couple join us in the bedroom or even just another woman to join us, but we never found a willing couple and it just sort of dropped. He seems fine with me being in a relationship with another woman, but another man he just freaks out.