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-   -   It's not about Religion, not sure what it's about (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=19740)

geminisag511 01-05-2012 03:26 AM

It's not about Religion, not sure what it's about
 
So, I have watched that "show" about the (really cool, I have to say) Polygamous (specifically, 1 man, 4 wives, 17 kids-whew!) with my husband and we are both quite curious, and trepidatious as we have sort of jokingly discussed the possibility. So, I know it isn't about Religion, because the Religious types seem to have as many hang-ups about the sex part of the whole thing as any other religious folks. I, personally, am a bi-sexual woman who would be devastated if we brought on another "wife" and I was left out of the sexual relationship. The weird thing is that it isn't the sex itself, it is that the sex may lead to an emotional relationship and I don't know that I would be entirely comfortable sharing my husband in that way. But, selfishly, I really want an actual relationship with another woman. So, I want to be in a loving relationship with my husband, and a loving relationship with another wife, but I am uncomfortable with them having a relationship with each other. Wow, epiphany- I am actually pretty insecure, who knew?

trvlngypsy 01-05-2012 07:30 AM

I don't have much to add since I'm new here and also figuring my self and situation out, but I wanted to welcome you to the group.

bassman 01-05-2012 11:07 AM

Yeah, I watched that show, too.

Why did the presenter never ask the man - "is it ok for the women to date other men"?

If not, polygamy just seems grossly unfair and abusive to me....

Vixtoria 01-05-2012 11:38 AM

At one point in an interview they did ask. The women answered saying that it would be 'gross' to date more than one man.

Yeah personally I had issues with that show because of the blatant hypocricy.

bassman 01-05-2012 01:23 PM

Ok, my bad.
I was probably not paying too much attention, as I had already by that stage determined that they were living as just another religious cult thats abusive towards women, and therefore I wasnt all that interested!

Vixtoria 01-05-2012 01:26 PM

Yeah I saw it in an interview while the show was new, so I knew there was no way I was watching it. I just don't get the whole, "poly for me" mentality. Both of my partners are mono but if they wanted to date other people I'd be okay, or get okay with it! I wouldn't prescribe that it's 'wrong' for them to. it's OPP taken to the nth level. :P

neegoola 01-05-2012 01:50 PM

GeminiSag,
your last question mark welcome comments in?!

Quote:

Originally Posted by geminisag511 (Post 118755)
The weird thing is that it isn't the sex itself, it is that the sex may lead to an emotional relationship

it depends on what you "base on" for building up or not.

Quote:

Originally Posted by geminisag511 (Post 118755)
. But, selfishly, I really want an actual relationship with another woman.

this you're ALLOWED :)


Quote:

Originally Posted by geminisag511 (Post 118755)
I, personally, am a bi-sexual woman who would be devastated if we brought on another "wife" and I was left out of the sexual relationship.
I don't know that I would be entirely comfortable sharing my husband in that way.
So, I want to be in a loving relationship with my husband, and a loving relationship with another wife, but I am uncomfortable with them having a relationship with each other.

this really smells of Middle-Ages :( that is the period in which the System decided how to brainwash "people" to reach a good control on "us": ruling our own sexuality and Love; we got used to it in our "mental form" or cast of mind.
Eros and Pornos are different indeed.
ego mind and paleo mind are different, even more than.

Quote:

Originally Posted by geminisag511 (Post 118755)
Wow, epiphany- I am actually pretty insecure, who knew?


do what you Like.
and breath.

hugs :)

km34 01-05-2012 04:53 PM

Not gonna lie... I LOVE this show. During one episode, husband and first wife go out (anniversary, I think) and SHE asks how he would feel if she dated another man. Not in a context that was showing she wanted to, just to put perspective on the emotions she was working through with him 'courting' another wife. The only way to describe the look on his face at the thought was disgusted.

geminisag511 01-06-2012 03:59 AM

Hmm...thanks. I like the reference to Latin, always a facinating study...how many ways can we say "love". And, I agree, the selfish part is allowed, and I do thank you for the reminder to "breathe" and that as co-creators of our experiences, I can just allow, and "be". The whole "if you love something(one), set it free..." Needed that. I am here to experience joy and not decide for someone else. Thanks again.

geminisag511 01-06-2012 04:27 AM

I saw that episode. You are right-don't think he'd ever considered it. I wouldn't call him hypocritical, just maybe a little closed-minded...interesting


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