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-   -   Our First Poly Event (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1962)

JonnyAce 01-13-2010 06:41 AM

Our First Poly Event
 
JustChristine and I went to our first poly event last night. We had a wonderful time, and met some great people (except for the one creepy guy). it was scheduled to go from 7-11, we didn't leave until 1 a.m. :eek: We met a really cute, nice girl (P), and cuddled, and were affectionate with her for a good portion of the evening. It brought me such joy to see JC all smiley when she was cuddling, and kissing P. JC said she felt very happy that we were both sharing something so nice, and warm. Yay compersion!!! We're both excited about going next month. :D

I had to share this great experience with you all, as you've all been so supportive. You folks don't realize how much wonderful, informative help you give to people who don't post much (but read everything) on here, so thanks!

OP's note to Mods: I hope i posted this in the right section, if not feel free to move it.

rosevett 01-13-2010 02:28 PM

that is so awesome JA & JC.

Mark1npt 01-14-2010 01:03 AM

Maybe I'm a little out of touch with some polys, but is it customary to start making out with some chick the first poly event you go to? Whatever happened to a meet and greet, learn a little and make a date for some other time? Do we all now move right into the next make out chick at our next meeting?

Ravenesque 01-14-2010 01:18 AM

Yay JohnnyAce! I'm happy for you both. The event missed me, I was out of NYC at that point. But there'll be other chances.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mark1npt (Post 19867)
Maybe I'm a little out of touch with some polys, but is it customary to start making out with some chick the first poly event you go to? Whatever happened to a meet and greet, learn a little and make a date for some other time? Do we all now move right into the next make out chick at our next meeting?

"We all" don't have to do anything. As far as I can tell there is no "customary" when it comes to how polys approach their relationships. Spontaneity can be apart of some poly relationships as much as "meet and greet" and waiting for later.

JohnnyAce was expressing an experience which he and JustChristine had at their first poly event. It was positive for them. What exactly is the purpose of your comment?

~Raven~

JonnyAce 01-14-2010 06:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mark1npt (Post 19867)
is it customary to start making out with some chick the first poly event you go to?


First off, i didn't say anything about making out. There was no making out, just some cuddling, and light kissing.

Secondly, it happened after at least 4 hours of all 3 of us in a little cubby/alcove-y type area talking, and getting to know one another.

Lastly, I'm sorry if this isn't the way that you do poly, bu as they say a lot on this forum, there's no one way to do it right. ;)

JustChristine 01-14-2010 06:17 PM

I was really REALLY happy that we went to this event... thanks Jon!

JA and I had agreed beforehand, that if at any point either of us wanted to leave (because we were uncomfortable, or just ready to go), that we would. At one point, I was in tears... both because of an encounter with another attendee who seriously skeeved me out, and because the overwhelming number of people there started to wear on me (I don't do well in crowds, especially alone, and JA had gone outside for a smoke break). Thankfully we were able to move to the side and talk about what I was feeling and why I was crying, and JA helped me calm down and was very supportive of me when I really needed him to be. If it hadn't been for that quiet little moment between the two of us, I would have wanted to leave right then and there, and wouldn't have experienced the rest of the night.

Moving from the main bar area into the secondary room (the one with the booth/alcoves) really helped me be more comfortable, as there were way less people back there, and I was not only able to breathe easier but we were also able to join in on some conversation where we didn't feel like we had to yell to be heard. Earlier on in the night, it had been the same way in the main room (that's what we get for showing up early/on time) but the growing crowd had made it impossible, so I was really happy that we moved out of there.

I have to say, it was just such an experience (both exciting and overwhelming) to get to meet so many new people, and to feel accepted and understood by people. It's one thing to experience such acceptance online (for example, here in the forums), but it's another thing entirely to feel accepted in person, without having to ask to be accepted.

JustChristine 01-14-2010 06:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mark1npt (Post 19867)
is it customary to start making out with some chick the first poly event you go to?

Hmm... I don't believe there was any making out going on (well, at least not involving myself or JA!).

Not that I feel compelled to defend my/our actions, though the tone of your response felt strangely accusatory and I'm not sure why.

Heck, I kissed P on the forehead while we were sitting around, hanging out and talking... just a sweet little gesture with nothing so sexually charged behind it as "making out" implies. More of a bonding of a newly-formed friendship, and less of a "random hook-up at a bar."

For me, the part that made me most smiley was just holding hands with people... sharing that with JA made it even better.

Everybody experiences things their own way... that's part of what's so great about being alive.

JustChristine 01-14-2010 06:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ravenesque (Post 19868)
The event missed me, I was out of NYC at that point. But there'll be other chances.

Sorry that you were already out of NYC by the time this rolled around... here's to the future!

redpepper 01-14-2010 10:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mark1npt (Post 19867)
Maybe I'm a little out of touch with some polys, but is it customary to start making out with some chick the first poly event you go to? Whatever happened to a meet and greet, learn a little and make a date for some other time? Do we all now move right into the next make out chick at our next meeting?

Woot, making out with chicks!
I must say that our meetings are cuddly but the formate for ours might be different and for that reason we don't get more intimate than a leg across someone, someone else giving a massage etc. Ours are about education and philisophical discussion that's why. Perhaps before we lambast poor mark and before anyone gets their knickers in a knot we can hear a bit about how the meeting was run? I think of meetings as sitting down at a large table to discuss something. This sounds like it wasn't that at all. How did you meet the woman you met? Who was the creepy guy? What was the permiss behind being there? To find dates? It sounds more like our dating group here than our meeting group.

I'm glad it went so well both of you! :D

JonnyAce 01-14-2010 10:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by redpepper (Post 19986)
Perhaps before we lambast poor mark and before anyone gets their knickers in a knot we can hear a bit about how the meeting was run?

Fair enough RP. This was a Cocktail Hour event. It was not a dinner, nor a discussion group, nor a meeting. I realize now that i wasn't clear on this in my original post, and for that i apologize.


Quote:

Originally Posted by redpepper (Post 19986)
How did you meet the woman you met?

She was one of the 1st people there to see us noobs, and introduce herself.

Quote:

Originally Posted by redpepper (Post 19986)
Who was the creepy guy?

JC will have to answer that if she chooses to. :o

Quote:

Originally Posted by redpepper (Post 19986)
What was the permiss behind being there? To find dates?

To go, and meet nice like minded people. Also the other possible poly event is a munch that is run by someone that's known me since i was 12. I felt more comfortable going to my 1st poly event not run by someone who's known me since i was a child.

Quote:

Originally Posted by redpepper (Post 19986)
I'm glad it went so well both of you! :D

Thank you :D


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