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-   -   Another Planet (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=196)

moonstone 05-03-2009 06:27 PM

Another Planet
 
I am just embarking on this myself.

I have never been married and therfore I have been leased by the planet to spread love.

I never wanted anything more than to be special and supreme in some mans life but then men i was attracted to were not the ones that could provide that sort of thing and I experienced so much misery that I saw no other way to live than to accept what joy I did derive from these beings and if I could not then it would be wise for me to walk away. All those relationships ended too late, I lost a great deal of vitality on them.

Everyone has a story on how they got to this point. I had to shed a thousand skins. Its just a whole different perspective and a way to expand your mind. It is about love and not sex. Sex is so thankless without it.

I feel as though im on a fringe but I find people increasingly attractd to me the more I can let go. It is tough on them so the person who is the polyamorist has a great responsibility in keeping the peace.

I write in here to catch up with my thoughts. Any thoughs are welcome.

moonstone 05-15-2009 03:16 PM

Follow up
 
The two men that i wasnt to have a polyamourous relationship were consumed in ego. One was simply unable to bring himself to meet the other. I find this very sad. I understand being formally a monogamous person but Being monogamous i also remember having serious conflicts about WHY this person and I cant be happy unless i feel he is ALL mine. Why does that have to be in place to enjoy the company of another? We all need reconditioning. Latter..

Danny40179 05-15-2009 07:58 PM

I'm gonna be honest. I think it's harder for straight men to be a part of a poly relationship. Like you said, it's all about the ego. Also remember that this lifestyle isn't always for everyone. I think a lot of people think this is just a means of legal cheating, which of course it's not. It's much more complicated than that. ;) Keep us updated!

River 05-15-2009 08:07 PM

Moonstone,

Am I to understand that you'd like to have two (or more) lovers, but that you don't want either of them to have that same option or freedom?

moonstone 05-15-2009 08:35 PM

Um, no
 
I would like for them to have other women. Very much.

They are happy with just me and one is unwilling to meet the other. Or, primary doesnt want to meet secondary and secondary wasnt so sure anyway either.

All I ask from a man is for whomever they date, is to introduce them to me.

I was hurt very badly when an ex-boyfriend that i agreed to have relations with would not introduce me to his girlfriend. It went on for five years. I suppose in not introducing me he felt somewhat powerful or something.

I really suffered as Pisceans are so apt to do. I never wanted to feel like I did not exist again. I always treat people the way I want to be treated. So I would love to have a big happy family someday of lovers and girlfriends and such. My family was very scarce. I also have trouble getting along with women. I think this way women and I would get along great! Yea..I know..Im thinking ahead.

moonstone 05-15-2009 08:54 PM

oh and
 
"I think it's harder for straight men to be a part of a poly relationship. Like you said, it's all about the ego. Also remember that this lifestyle isn't always for everyone. I think a lot of people think this is just a means of legal cheating, which of course it's not."

Danny,
Its true, I have yet to meet a strong enough man. I have been through so much pain..that is why i had to let go of all the foolishness. Otherwise Id still be clinging. Its funny now that i am older I want to "cling" less.. Its the only way i can stay healthy until of course I can find the "one" ha haheeha. Once that happens I may not need more OR if he can be cool also there can still be a family...Just never a conventional one.

I mean I cant say I am monogamous or polyamorous...Polyamory is part of our evolution I think. I may condemn monagamy but for romantic reasons I can also be a party to it, although i do not forsee that. I dont think monagamy is right for many reasons though...These are ideals as of yet.

Quath 05-16-2009 07:32 AM

Some people don't want to meet the other person. I think it is nice when it does happen because real faces are put on the person, which tends to lessen jealousy. Maybe given time, they may want to meet up to satisfy their curiosity. But I wouldn't push it. Let them find their own comfort level.

moonstone 05-16-2009 03:21 PM

yeap.
 
Thing is, I had to sort of break up with both. They were drivng me crazy, getting all proprietary. Now I see the one that lives closer to me as friends, often (no sex) and the one that lives far I call him when I need a lover. No discussing any details with either one. That makes my life less complicated. I was willing to work for the polyamory but not to ease anyones consciousness, continually. It matters so much to men who you are sleeping with men. Women only care about who you really love. I can handle my man sleeping with another but I better be in the picture.

MonoVCPHG 05-19-2009 02:29 AM

Yeah..I'm on the other planet in many aspects (motivations behind polyamory, inability to put myself in a poly frame of mind to better understand) but totally on the same planet where it counts! Compersion where it is most needed, constant communication, immense love, genuine caring for other people.

I do understand how polyamory works but will not even pretend to "feel" what it means to be polyamorous. I'm monogomous and can't imagine loving someone else intimately..i.e having sex.

I certainly do care about who my Lover is sleeping with and who she might be interested in exploring. That is just who I am and she accepts me in knowing this which makes me smile with a brilliant grin every time I see her:)

moonstone 05-19-2009 02:55 AM

I think when you cant find the perfect person...you may be apt to having your cake and eating to.
You found the perfect woman for you.

I suppose if i could have it all in one man and he were monogamous and prefered me to be monagamous...Being that I am less dominant than most... I would probably be happy to comply.. But we shall see if that ever happens and how I will be able to address it.. Would love to report back here with that info.
Would my ideals prevail?? Or would I just go back to the norm?
Oh and Mono..I know how you feel.. I felt that way once also. That was also very "ideal" but my love was not nurtured and ...walla...here i am.


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