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DC2B 12-31-2011 12:49 AM

North Dallas
 
Greeting everybody..

I am excited to find such a forum as this! I have never had the pleasure of such a relationship, however, a MFF triad to me seems perfect. I tend to be emotionally detached after the NRE has passed. It is more of an intellectual gap above all. I used to think I just did not like people. I found out recently I just dislike 'ignorant' people. By ignorant, I mean people who chose not to learn at their full potential, yet act as if they know it all..

I guess my ideal situation would be myself and two woman that are more in love with each other and turn to me for man needs and a sense of security. In the bedroom I have above and beyond average passion and sensuality, but outside I am unavailable to a certain point. I love being in love, but I prefer to stay single for the sake of any woman that may fall in love and get hurt. I was married for 7 years and it broke her... I dont ever want to do that to another lover.

Does this make me sound selfish?

Jeremy

ImaginaryIllusion 12-31-2011 08:39 AM

What if they like being in love too?

Welcome to the Forum.

DC2B 12-31-2011 09:29 AM

Well, I feel my exwife loved being in love with me. So much so that we even tried it again after a year and a half separation. Love & Sex was NEVER the issue!! It comes down to my emotional disconnection. I am that way with everybody, I was raised an only child and my parents always left me to do my own thing, so i rather prefer that over anything..

NovemberRain 12-31-2011 08:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DC2B (Post 117998)
I am excited to find such a forum as this! I have never had the pleasure of such a relationship, however, a MFF triad to me seems perfect. I tend to be emotionally detached after the NRE has passed. It is more of an intellectual gap above all. I used to think I just did not like people. I found out recently I just dislike 'ignorant' people. By ignorant, I mean people who chose not to learn at their full potential, yet act as if they know it all..

Hi Jeremy, welcome.

Perhaps you just need to seek out smarter people? I met first bf (not first ever in my whole life, but man with whom I'm currently entering into a vee relationship) at mensa. He's an extreme introvert, and expresses that by saying 'I don't like people' Which sometimes upsets me, as I consider myself people, but everyone who's said that to me swears they mean 'not me.' Then I'm irritated because they're imprecise. :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by DC2B (Post 117998)
I love being in love, but I prefer to stay single for the sake of any woman that may fall in love and get hurt. I was married for 7 years and it broke her... I dont ever want to do that to another lover.

I would encourage you to think about re-framing that. You didn't 'do' that 'to' her. You're just not that powerful. It was her mind making meaning out of your actions, and she chose negative, disempowering meanings (at least that's how it sounds to me). I say this from a place of been there, done that. I have an ex, when I am in his presence, my chemicals go unbalanced. It's much less severe than it was 20 years ago, but the fact that it still happens is a bit unnerving.

I appreciate that you want to be cautious and not hurt people unnecessarily, but I think you do yourself a disservice to hold back.

I'm interested to see if people have opinions for you on selfishness. I feel I can't speak to it as it seems to be a hot button for me.

opalescent 01-05-2012 12:02 AM

'Man needs' :eek: Hee Hee!

I hope you can offer more than that and security. A dildo, healthy bank account, and a baseball bat would otherwise replace you.

You read like someone addicted to being in love and when that tamps down, as it always does, you want to get that high back. Perhaps you are capable of deeper connection, maybe not. If it bothers you, explore why. And wanting your own company does not necessarily make you emotionally unavailable - it makes you an introvert. But if you are really unable to connect deeply then being a secondary may work for you. But every one I know in a triad says they are a shit ton of emotional work. That may not work for you.


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