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-   -   Implosion of a poly family- a cry for help. (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=19505)

redpepper 12-30-2011 01:46 AM

Implosion of a poly family- a cry for help.
Any of you who know me on FB and are on the group I host know this story, but I thought I would re-post because this lady needs help badly.

implosion of a poly family

km34 12-30-2011 06:25 PM

Someone asked the exact question I was wondering: Was the court's decision based on the fact that she is poly or on other circumstances?

Apparently it was 100% because of the bull that her ex fed the judge. I'd help if I could. This should NOT be happening.

opalescent 12-30-2011 11:45 PM


Do you know if she has contacted the National Coalition for Sexual Freedo
? They may be able to put her in touch with a pro bono lawyer.

dingedheart 12-31-2011 03:48 AM

My question is what did she do to this guy.? This is asemtrical warfare...he's playing to destroy....or he has very serious safety concerns. This isn't normal.

I could do this or worse if i wanted to but why would i want destroy my kids mother for sport...doesnt make sense you destroy 1/2of them in the process. There's a reason he's playing so rough.

Anneintherain 12-31-2011 06:16 AM

DH, Lots of times people play really hard when it comes to divorce. I met her once, and know some of her from postings she's made, blog and FB, and mutual friends, and she seems to be nothing but really nice. She seems to be highly regarded in my local area as a poly person/person in general.

I don't think there is any reason for his behavior other than the typical "Now that we are divorcing I hate you and will make your life hell just because I hate you" I have seen plenty of that over the last 20 years, so just because it makes no sense to cause misery for no reason, doesn't mean it doesn't happen every day, in hundreds of divorces, mono or not.

Wish I'd gone to law school so I could offer some assistance in her case. Her situation was actually a topic of my husband and I at dinner tonight.

dingedheart 12-31-2011 07:11 AM

Oh I've seen ugly divorces. If close enough you can see the reason for the anger and bitterness. Reasonable people looking out for their kids don't often do this. Highlight the word reasonable...

Did she ask for the divorce? What break down cause them to divorce?

Is he going to take a big hit financially?

Do you know him or his new partner?

Another factor could be the lawyer....they love to win....it's a game to win.

redpepper 12-31-2011 08:42 AM

I'd rather not say more than the link says as the group I host is "secret" on FB. If you want to know more there is a link to ask her on the article. There are a lot of questions about all this including some sceptical ones. I'm sure any questions could be directed to her. Lots to think about. Not a pleasant situation all around.

km34 12-31-2011 03:19 PM

DH - my brother in law's ex wife has tried to get their son away from him multiple times and it pretty much seems to be a cry for attention and power play. She wants to have all of the power when it comes to the kid, so she does whatever she can to piss the dad off. She doesn't care whether or not it is what is best for her son or not but it makes he feel better to thinks he is in control so she does whatever she can to undermine my BIL. A slight history into their relationship.... They were married for just over a year when she had their kid. A month later she comes home and tells him that she has fallen in love with someone else but she doesn't believe in divorce so if he wants his freedom he has to file. He did. She married the other guy and has in the last 2 years that I've known her had 4 affairs, 2 of which have included moving out for at least a month. Taking her now 5 year old with her.

Some people are just assholes and/or unbalanced.

dingedheart 12-31-2011 10:50 PM

Km34, you're so very right about whack job assholes ...I just don't think thats the norm. In the case you sited, if your BIL were to play hardball everyone could see the reasons behind that. And that's more typical of what I've seen over the years. But your right, whack jobs are out there....got some my family...so I get it. And this guy could be one.

bassman 01-01-2012 05:06 PM

Sent a small donation.

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