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-   -   Can a loner by polyamourous? (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1919)

FreeandUnited 01-07-2010 03:29 PM

Can a loner by polyamourous?
 
I posted this before, but somehow it's gone. Maybe because I posted it before I was "official"(?)

Anyway, what do you all think? Can someone who is a bit of a loner still be polyamourus?

MonoVCPHG 01-07-2010 03:35 PM

Sure they can. After seeing the broad spectrum of approaches on here and in my local community, the only thing I truly feel is a minimum requirement to be polyamorous is the ability to engage in multiple intimate/romantic relationships simultaneously.

Nothing says you have to actually be in multiple relationships. That would be like saying you're only gay if you actually have a partner of the same sex right now.

CielDuMatin 01-07-2010 03:44 PM

I agree completely - if you feel you have the ability to having loving relationships with more than one person then why not?

Ravenesque 01-07-2010 04:21 PM

Yes, someone who is solo can be polyamorous. If you had to be partnered to be polyamorous, it would mean your identity, who you are as a person, is contingent on other people and how others see you. That would not be a healthy.

~Raven~

GroundedSpirit 01-07-2010 04:22 PM

Of course !
"polyamorous" should be viewed as an adjective - not as a verb :)
It's a way of viewing/understanding ourselves and the world.

lovefromgirl 01-07-2010 06:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FreeandUnited (Post 18970)
I posted this before, but somehow it's gone. Maybe because I posted it before I was "official"(?)

Anyway, what do you all think? Can someone who is a bit of a loner still be polyamourus?

Being rather a hermit offline, I'd say "yes" -- for me, it tends to mean being polysaturated (what a word!) at two partners who are at least able to understand what introversion means and not drag me into their social calendars.

glowinthedarkstars 01-08-2010 02:51 PM

I have really bad social anxiety and depression which pretty much makes me a loner, and I am still open to polyamory,or have been in a poly relationship but dating one person. That said having depression kinda conflicts with the poly lifestyle at times but i dont think being a "loner" would rule out poly at all. if a "loner" could be mono, why not poly.

glowinthedarkstars 01-08-2010 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lovefromgirl (Post 19009)
Being rather a hermit offline, I'd say "yes" -- for me, it tends to mean being polysaturated (what a word!) at two partners who are at least able to understand what introversion means and not drag me into their social calendars.

I like this! thanks for sharing =)

Ceoli 01-08-2010 03:02 PM

Having a romantic connection with someone doesn't require being a social butterfly. The same goes for having a romantic connection with more than one person.

I've known quite a few poly people who are pretty introverted and they have had some amazing loving relationships. So yeah, it's very possible and probably happens more than you think :)

GroundedSpirit 01-08-2010 03:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lovefromgirl (Post 19009)
for me, it tends to mean being polysaturated (what a word!)

WELL !!!!!!!!

Now there's a new and very important term to add to the dictionary. We talk a fair amount about that saturation.

Thank you ! :)

(give a whole new meaning to poly-unsaturated)


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