Polyamory.com Forum

Polyamory.com Forum (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/index.php)
-   General Poly Discussions (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=2)
-   -   BDSM & definition issues (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1906)

LovingRadiance 01-06-2010 02:14 AM

BDSM & definition issues
 
http://www.leathernroses.com/general...twoplustwo.htm

I found it ironic to read this article TODAY after such an intriquing conversation on the "my poly isn't your poly so what" thread!
Would love to continue the conversation in regards to this article!

(no I didn't search for it, i was searching for more info on BDSM, this just came up as I was going along guys!)

Ariakas 01-06-2010 02:32 AM

Interesting article, amazing parellels with what I have seen in the poly world so far.

I have been playing with bdsm for years. Different degrees, different methods, again, like the way I feel about poly, I do what I do, I don't care how it is labelled. BDSM covers it, I don't sweat the smaller details.

vampiresscammy 01-06-2010 03:53 AM

some people love labels, some really dont like them, me, I use them when it suits my needs and or purposes

does my definition fit everyone elses? most definitely not, which is why i've been told i explain things to death, cause i try to leave no gray area, i use labels and i explain what i mean, then we can argue my use of the wrong label if you want

for me personally i go with a "to each their own" kinda vibe, i'm not interested in judging others on their usage of labels or for wanting whatever that label implies, but if we're going to be kinky together, then yes its very important we both know exactly what each other is saying regardless of the labels we use

so, you do your thing, i'll do mine, and maybe if we strike each others fancies we can do some things together! ;)

Ariakas 01-06-2010 04:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vampiresscammy (Post 18798)
for me personally i go with a "to each their own" kinda vibe, i'm not interested in judging others on their usage of labels or for wanting whatever that label implies, but if we're going to be kinky together, then yes its very important we both know exactly what each other is saying regardless of the labels we use

Actually I would say communication in bdsm is as important (if not more so than poly) as poly. Simply because of the various degrees of pain, pleasure, fun and heck even methods. You really have to understand and respect everyones bounderies, wants, needs and fantasies. BDSM is quite a good communication tool :)

quila 01-06-2010 06:39 AM

It reminds me of a while ago, on a BDSM forum, I came across the acronym "WIITWD" for "What It Is That We Do." A lot of people in that forum participated in a wide range of non-mainstream sexual activities, but didn't like the connotations associated with "BDSM." In a lot of ways, reminds me of a lot of opinions I've heard on here with the term polyamory.

quila 01-06-2010 06:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vampiresscammy (Post 18798)
some people love labels, some really dont like them, me, I use them when it suits my needs and or purposes

I find labels useful for quick & dirty vague descriptions of things, but useless when trying to pinpoint anything. Too many people tend to feel that labelling a person or act is the same as labelling a product, and once you put a "Campbell's Chicken Soup" label on something, you expect a certain food to come out of the can. Analogously, I prefer to be labelled "Soup" and then have to be opened up to find out exactly what's inside :)

GroundedSpirit 01-06-2010 03:06 PM

Yes, I remember sticking in a post somewhere on here encouraging people to work on the skill of grasping the overall thought or concept being expressed as opposed to picking on any particular words used. Any particular label is just another example of that.
If I simply can't grasp the general gist of what someone says because of the particular choice of words they use - I ask for clarification - sometimes by way of example. If I do grasp it - I could care less what terms they used. I got the picture.
It's a good skill to improve on - makes things flow along much smoother.

GS


All times are GMT. The time now is 11:37 AM.