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-   -   Social meet tonight and a chat with a Poly? (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=19029)

bassman 12-20-2011 03:40 PM

Social meet tonight and a chat with a Poly?
 
Maybe.
We've been invited round to the house of one of my wife's friends tonight, for a sort of xmas dinner/drinks thing.
I hope to chat to an ex-air hostess there, who I met at a similar function a few months ago, who admitted to "having an on off affair", with the man she introduced us to.

I think her extra-marital relationships were consentual, but I hope to be able to corner her tonight, and ask her more about what went on, did her partners know, etc...

Just maybe I'll be meeting my first poly person face to face tonight!:D

bassman 12-21-2011 01:07 PM

ah well, it didnt go as I planned. I did manage to speak to her, but never managed to get her on her own, so I didnt raise the topic. Waiting for the next party now.

RfromRMC 12-21-2011 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bassman (Post 116598)
Just maybe I'll be meeting my first poly person face to face tonight!:D

Ok, maybe I haven't been around to read your other posts, but isn't Surrey just outside of London? Have you tried going to the London Poly meetup?

bassman 12-21-2011 02:05 PM

You are right, I'm just down the road from London.

The thing is, my wife is a *little* anti-nonmonogamy.

Lets call the woman I tried to speak to, B.
My wife is friends with C, who is friends with B. We've been invited more and more to social events with C, where B is often included. My wife has met B, and knows as much as I do, - only that she said she's had multiple "affairs". I think thats the wrong word, because I sort of gathered her carrying ons were with the consent of her husband/s.

Now, I think it will be better for my wife to know someone and then later be informed of her non-monogamous sex life, rather than if I announced "hey, lets go meet some poly folk!"

I just think it would be gentler and a softer approach, and that she'd be more accepting, if it was a friend who turned out to be non-monogamous, and then we could discuss how it worked for her and everyone involved.

See what I mean?

redpepper 12-22-2011 06:57 AM

Surrey; it could of been Surrey, BC, Canada.... ;) :p

bassman 12-22-2011 07:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by redpepper (Post 116877)
Surrey; it could of been Surrey, BC, Canada.... ;) :p

*nitpick - "could have been" :D :D :D

Ive actually got family in Vancouver, and on Vancouver island (Nanaimo and Victoria). So it may happen one day!

Its still one of our goals, as a family, to visit there again.

redpepper 12-24-2011 01:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bassman (Post 116879)
Ive actually got family in Vancouver, and on Vancouver island (Nanaimo and Victoria). So it may happen one day!

Its still one of our goals, as a family, to visit there again.

Yay! look us up?

nycindie 12-24-2011 08:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bassman (Post 116598)
Just maybe I'll be meeting my first poly person face to face tonight!:D

You make it sound like going to see monkeys in the zoo. :(

Quote:

Originally Posted by bassman (Post 116769)
Quote:

Originally Posted by RfromRMC (Post 116767)
Have you tried going to the London Poly meetup?

The thing is, my wife is a *little* anti-nonmonogamy.

Now, I think it will be better for my wife to know someone and then later be informed of her non-monogamous sex life, rather than if I announced "hey, lets go meet some poly folk!"

Well, if you seem focused only on the sex, I could understand why she would be hesitant. But you do know poly is much, much more than that. From your posts, I often think you are really looking for a more primarily sexual practice, like cuckolding, and not really polyamory at all.

You could still go to the poly meetup by yourself, if you really want to meet poly people. Make some friends and invite them over! I mean, she brings around all her church people expecting you to hang out and entertain them, why can't you have a poly set of friends and acquaintances you bring around?

bassman 12-24-2011 05:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by redpepper (Post 117120)
Yay! look us up?

Will Deffo be doing that !! We've got 2 overseas trips planned already, so Canada is at least 3 rd in line right now :-(

bassman 12-24-2011 05:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nycindie (Post 117155)
You make it sound like going to see monkeys in the zoo. :(

aww, sorry you read it that way... I really meant I was hoping to meet and talk to someone who's done it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by nycindie (Post 117155)
Well, if you seem focused only on the sex, I could understand why she would be hesitant. But you do know poly is much, much more than that. From your posts, I often think you are really looking for a more primarily sexual practice, like cuckolding, and not really polyamory at all.

I've been reading on here tons, and yes, I think I'm getting the difference between swinging, FWBs, and Poly. Eek, cuckolding doesnt appeal to me at all!
Quote:

Originally Posted by nycindie (Post 117155)
You could still go to the poly meetup by yourself, if you really want to meet poly people. Make some friends and invite them over! I mean, she brings around all her church people expecting you to hang out and entertain them, why can't you have a poly set of friends and acquaintances you bring around?

Am working on this - I travel a lot, so I am hoping to get to meet some people on my travels, and yes, I'd love to have some people over! :)


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