Polyamory.com Forum

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-   -   My introduction (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=18837)

Luna393 12-16-2011 03:00 AM

My introduction

I have been perusing the site for a few days and have decided to join and stop trolling!

I have, for most of my romantic life, known that I had the ability to experience love for more than one person. What I didn't know was that there was a word for it or that I shouldn't feel guilty or ashamed for being different than the cultural norm. All of my relationships that involved more than two people have been miserably botched because of my lack of self disclosure. What I was doing was cheating.

I have been married for 2 years, and have been with my husband a total of 4 years. He has known from the beginning that I believed I could have feelings for more than one person. It has been a moot point until recently because I haven't had feelings for anyone one else but him. I have recently become closer to a friend and have real feelings for him, I'll call him C. My husband knows about my feelings for C and is fine with them although my husband does consider himself a mono. C knows I'm poly and isn't into it. I am happy to have a friendship with him if nothing else.

I really feel better just being able to say this to people who may underatand how I feel. I sometimes feel like I stick out like a sore thumb in this monogamous culture. I would love to enter all the dialogue here. Thank you everyone for being here.


kirsten 12-17-2011 11:37 PM

Thanks for sharing about yourself! It is hard to be poly in a mono world. I think there are probably lots of people out there who are poly but don't realize that there is an honest way to get those needs fulfilled, so they cheat.

Welcome to the board!

Luna393 12-18-2011 12:51 AM

Thank you for the welcome!

I am wondering if there are any threads about unrequitted love and loves taking the form of the friendship relationship and if anyone could steer me in the right direction. I don't really see myself seeking out a secondary relationship. If another great love happens in my life though, I would most definitely rise to the occassion. I understand that C probably isn't going to pan out to more than friendship. I am happy that I get to love him (even from a distance), but I must admit to not fully accepting it yet. I can see how my longing for more might foul up our special friendship. Does anyone have any experience with this?

kirsten 12-19-2011 10:23 PM

I haven't been around here too long so I'm not sure if there are threads that would help you. I suggest posting over in "New to Polyamory," it seems to get more traffic than this area does.

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