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-   -   The law and children? (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=18342)

Mecka 12-05-2011 11:15 PM

The law and children?
I am new to polyamory. One of my partners has a three year old son who i adore. Her mother has threatened to take her son from her if she continues in our relationship. I just wondered if it would be possible for the state to take her son from her for being in a poly relationshi?

redpepper 12-05-2011 11:56 PM

It depends where you live. In the province I live in (BC) they can send me and my partners to jail for five years just for celebrating our union in some way.

You might want to do a tag search for "children" "law" and see what comes up. It is a topic that has been written about here before.

nycindie 12-06-2011 12:12 AM

It has happened to some people, but sometimes if the judge sees that there is no abuse nor anything inappropriate going on for the children to be exposed to, they are returned. However, it is not something to be taken lightly. Depending on where you are, and the circumstances of family members threatening such action, many poly families to not come out publicly about their situations.

The best thing for your partner to do is consult an attorney where you live. And you might want to lay low for a while and not flaunt the relationship, unfortunately.

StumblingAlong 12-06-2011 02:14 AM

Check lovemore.com it gives a little information on this and yes its possible the child can be taken just because of your relationship. Poly is not easily understood by many and those are the ones that consider it immoral and unfortunately in the US 99.9% of the judicial system is made of people like that.

mennodaughter 12-06-2011 04:58 AM

What you are talking about is grandparent rights. In general, all but a few states in the US no longer have grandparent rights. In fact, the very concept has been rule unconstitutional. However, since it involves civil law, it will take each state having a case rise that high in the court system, or the legislature overruling the laws, before it will be revoked.

In no state in the US do grandparent rights extend in a situation where an intact, nuclear family exists. So, if legal mother and legal father are legally married, then no grandparents can interfer and attempt to exert control for custody or visitation. In the states where grandparent rights do exist, this does not pertain to any non-intact family aka any configuration other than the aforementioned one.

So, suing for custody may or may not even be an option where you live. She needs to consult an attorney. Lots of angry grandparents can say stuff like this. Only a lawyer can tell you if it's even a possibility in your circumstances.

However, there is also the risk of someone calling Social Services and a child welfare determination that something puts the child at risk. Normally, Social Services tries to not remove children unless absolutely necessary. However, that is not guaranteed.

My husband and I are the legal parents of all of our children and are legally married. Our children are at no risk from outsiders because we are able to protect them. However, our partner is a single mother with a contentious ex. For that reason, we have all agreed we must remain very careful until her children are completely safe from outside interference. We cannot protect her children in the same way we can protect ours. We can best protect them by not being open in ways that would put her and her children at risk.

swfltriad 12-08-2011 01:34 AM

Get professional Leagl help
We had a child custody issue go really badly becasue our lawyer sucked and was prepared!

This was more on a pending divorce fromt he sx. But there are case laws in every area.

We have had State child protective services come to see us and cleared us, we have our children and are activity in youth sports (coaches) and those back ground checks are cleared.

We are porfessionals and the ex even filed complainants to our bosses and those were shoot.

If it wasn't for a better lawyer we would have to appeal the first ruling.

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